Mujahida Posted June 10, 2003 Assalaamu 'alaykum, brothers and sisters. I am posting this message in the hope of getting some good insight and advice, inshaa'Allaah (SWT). I just wanted to know what you people think of Marrying a white convert to islam. I hear so many things ( mostly negative )like, All converts have been criminals, Converts don't deserve a pure Muslimah. Yes it's very shocking ( and i don't believe in that myself. All i know is that Islam binds people together on the `Aqeedah'; that is the belief of Allah (swt) and His Messenge(saw). I don't really want to go into too much detail...but hopefully you get my point. P.S. If anyone has more to add, please do inshaa'Allaah ,any advice and insight are greatly appreciated! Shukran! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muslim sis Posted June 10, 2003 W'salaam Warahmtulaahi wabrakaatuhu maasha allaah sis lateafha, this is good Question, -I'll look his Aqeedah, and behaivoir. may i got the point? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted June 10, 2003 once he is a muslim u could marry him, end of argument. u don't discriminate a muslim person. and if he was a criminal b4, how many muslims who were born muslims are criminals. i don't have a lot of knowledge on this issue, but on my humble opinion hell yeah u could marry him. sis. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GM Posted June 10, 2003 Salam Lateafha. Who is the new Muslim brother in nz...and are you from Hamilton. Is he Maori LOL? give me some details I might know him and i might be able to help. On a serious note, once a person embraces islam, his previous deeds do not count. In a hadith it says he becomes like a new born baby without a sin. In saying that however, some cultural differences between Somali Muslim and White Muslim makes it difficult for such marriage to last long. I have witnessed cases where Somalis have married to new white/Maori converts and their marriage did not survive very long. So while i strongly have nothing against a muslim marrying another muslim-new or old, youll need to bear the cultural differences in Mind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mujahida Posted June 10, 2003 QA^QA, Salam and Muslim sis too. QA^QA thanx for being so positive always. Muslimsis, i meant marrying people from other races,but "believers" Muslims. What do you think Abaayo? Jezekelah in advance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mujahida Posted June 10, 2003 Gentleman hey my fellow kiwi . I'm from the south island not north. Your advice is much appreciated brother. And NO you don't know him. He's not a Maori neither a Kiwi. Masalama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hibo Posted June 10, 2003 Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu Seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan the rejected one. In the name of Allah the compassionate redeemer. First sister, on the topic of racial preference: Allah created us from a single source and cause us to branch out into nations and tribes so that we may understand one anther. What better act of understanding is there than for two cultures to join through love and marriage. Second, on the subject of converts to Islam. Being a convert myself I can assure you that we are not all criminals. Even had I been, as soon as I accepted Islam, Allah has forgiven all of my past transgressions, are we somehow better in knowledge than Allah that we can bind what Allah has forgiven? Astaghfirallah, to even consider it. Sister, consider your mate as he is in his deen, his imaan, and his adaab. If is matches up to your exspectations, then find your happiness in marriage. Wa Allahu Alim Always, Isa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GM Posted June 10, 2003 Kia ora Lateafha. How is the south, freezing? Not Maori and not Kiwi? and hopefully not a PI or an Ausie LOL.(i hate Auises, they are racist) But you said white convert. Anyway, sister my advise is give sometime for him to settle down in the new faith and observe his actions carefully, . get to know him better and do not rush, see his "cultre" and see if you can reconcile on somethings before you take the step to marry him. Think about if your relationship fails what will happen to the children. Definately you cant take them with you to somalia because they are kiwi kids. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nur Posted June 10, 2003 Sister Latifa You have raised several questions in your Marriage inquiry. 1. Race 2. Paast Conduct 3. Past faith 4. Present faith. You want an all encompassing answer to the above. The answer to this question has two main considerations: 1. Allah and His Messenger. " And Allah has decreed that you do not submit in surrender ( Ibaadah) none except him" So in light of the above verse let us take the problme apart. On Race. Allah SWT says. " A slave who is a believer is better ( in marriage) than a polytheist, no matter how much attrcative he is" The Prophet said. " No white is better than a black, nor a black is better than a white except in Taqwa ( Good Deeds ) On Past Conduct and faith. Allah SWT says : " I am forgiver for he whom repents, believes (in me), does good deeds, and then follows the guidance ( of Islam) The Prophet SAWS said : " Islam ( Surrender to the creator of man) wipes clean all actions before it" On Present faith. The propphet SAWS acknowledged that Muslims consider four metrics for marriage. 1. Wealth 2. Good Looks 3. Origin 4. Adherence to faith ( Deen, way of life) The prophet SAWS recommended the last one as priority when these above factors compete in a decision making process for marriage. The above, answers part (1) of the question, part follows. The second aspect to consider is: 2. Parents." And Allah has decreed that you do not submit in surrender ( Ibaadah) none except him,................And as for (your) parents, ( treat them ) well" I have written a piece on parental arranged marriages, and I can psot it if you think it is releveant, but in this context, your parents have a say in who you marry, because, they love you, and they have priority in your life than a new prospect, their approval is critical in the blessing of your marriage. A Marriage is a bonding between two people to help each other to serve their Lord in their roles in life and to help each other and enjoy life together in love and harmony. Any relationship that diverts you from your purpose in life, your devotion to Allah is not recommneded, and any relationship that does not provide love and harmony will not assist you in Allah's service, so it is important to consider the social factor. As a Somali, you were raised with certain upbringing, and the brother may have been raised in a different upbringing, if you are planning to live in his environment you must adapt your ways to his, if you plan to live in Somalia, once peace prevals, he must be willing to relocate with you and wear a macawis and cimaammad and adapt too life in Qurac Dheer. Lastly, you may want to know about my personal opinion, let me ask you, does the brother have a convert sister? ( Just kidding) Nur Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mujahida Posted June 10, 2003 Oh MashaAllah . I really appreciate all of your insights and all the lovely advice were just more then expected. Jezekehlah kheeran. May Allah bless you! My Brother & My friend Isa , first of all welcome to the Site. Thanx for your advice akhi, Your one of the million reasons why converts should never be judged. Sister, consider your mate as he is in his deen, his imaan, and his adaab. If is matches up to your exspectations, then find your happiness in marriage. Thank's Brother! Gentleman , Yes it's freezing here, esp in the morning. I heard its warmer in the north. I'll not rush into anything brother I promise you that. Thank's for the advice. InshaAllah nothing will break. Nur Thank's brother. Hmm, i don't think that he has a converted sista. He's the only muslim in his family. but i can maybe hook you up with one of my converted friends lol. InshaAllah wishing you all th best! Guess what abowe he already wears a macawiis. Masalama, i gtg to my class, i'll catch with you's later! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muslim sis Posted June 11, 2003 Assalaama alaykum w.w Lateafha , I got your point now, Ofcourse yes I'll insha allaah.. since he bacame a muslim, And doesn't make me any sence for his color, :cool: I'm sure they are better then somali men.. they take good care for thier family, more then somali males. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mandeeq Posted June 11, 2003 Lateafah, walaal, my advice to any Somali girl would be. STAY SOMALI AND MARRY SOMALI. There are many nice Somali brothers out there with good iimaan and aqeedah. Lately this "convert" buzzword has become a trap for many sisters. I have heard some horrible stories. Allah knows best. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HoTsTePPeR Posted June 11, 2003 Well. As long as he is a Moslem, you can marry him no doubt about that. My cousins are married to white Moslem guys and I reckon its working for them. But there is always cultural differences. If you can handle that than marry him. But I won’t recommend you to get married to non Somalis. Regards. Where is my Quote…coming soon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samafal Posted June 11, 2003 Asalamu Alaikum, Latefah sis, as most of the brothers and sisters said to you before, you should only care about his deen and iiman and Khuluq. If you contend that dont care about his colour, his past sins as Allah forgives those who repent to him. And by the way to say that most of the converts were some time criminals and thugs are far from the truth. We have all sorts of people, from journalist to politicians accepting Islam as their way of life and to generalize them is bit unfair. I have seen some white converts married to somali sistas and seem that it is working for them, but smetimes it can go wrong as any other case marrying somali and you just can not take one case and say it is always horrible. All in all, i advise you to judge him on his merits, and to talk to him more and get to know him more and dont get things rushed. W/ salaam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mujahida Posted June 12, 2003 Mandeeq welcome to S.O.L sista. , And thaanx for warning me sweetie, I've heard some weird stories too. Jezekelah kheeran. May Allah protect us all & Lead us to what pleases Allah annd our parents Ameen! Originally posted by : YACQUUB i advise you to judge him on his merits, and to talk to him more and get to know him more and dont get things rushed. Thank's akhi, thats much appreciated. I'll not rush. I feel like your all my big brothers and sisters, I Love you all! Jezekelah kheeeran! MuslimSis, thank you too sweetie, I'll remember your words surely , mac mac! HoTsTePPeR thank's i guess cultural differences is something to consider and to understand too. I honestly believe & know that it's the Love between the 2 people that counts. I mean if you love a person then you'll surely love their culture too. thats what i think. Wa/salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
