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Umm Maryam

Marriage Issues

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i don't know about these judgements and self fulfilling prophecies but if you believe that, you are worse then the parents in they may just be uninformed and uneducated on the subject but you are not...

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Jacpher   

informed about what? Little kids referring others as gaalo? What's the point here? Don't force me to read or misread your mind. Just tell me what you're trying to say my friend.

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NGONGE   

I had a friend who was married to a woman but the woman was Chinese and she had these ten thousand year old eggs that her sister in law broke. The Chinese lady got upset and demanded a divorce but her clever Somali man phoned her parents in Shanghai and told them to send half a dozen old eggs and that solved the problem. However, only one small question remains; should he eat these rotten eggs when she makes them for him or should he politely refuse? We're all lost here and don't know who to ask. Maybe YOU can help!

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Aaliyyah   

Femme lol you are kinda right. At least your reference to single people hence in my case it will probably be "habar fadhida lagdin la fudud" but seriously i usually give wise advices lol. i DONT KNOW ABOUT unhappy married people, wouldnt you say those at least have some valid input based on their experience. mise the saying comes to mind "misery wants company" or somein like that lol

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Married couples need to understand your husband isn't the enemy, your wife isn't the enemy, the devil is the enemy. The devil hates marriage and will do anything in his power to make you two divorced. Marital issues are caused by the devil he is pleased with the separation between spouses and also with the breaking up of the family and its destruction. Marriage is completing half of your deen which means you are one big step closer to your devotion towards Allah. The devil doesn't like devotion towards Allah.

 

Jabir (Radi Allah Anhu) reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension) ; the nearer to him in tank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife. The Satan goes near him and says: 'You have done well. He then embraces him.[sahih Muslim: Book 039 'Kitab Sifat Al-Qiyamah wa'l Janna wa'n-Nar', Number 6755]

The devil leaves a home when you say Salaam Alaikum at entering your home and can in that way prevent trouble caused by him. You need to practice tender love and care and have patience with your spouse. Never disclose the faults of your spouse and marital problems on a public forum to people who you don't know who could give you a negative answer such as: " did he say such and such to you or do to you, divorce him! " which only makes your problem even bigger and stay unresolved. You shouldn't even disclose it to your friends and family except to your parents. The best thing to do if you have problems with him is to talk to him about since he is the only one who can change that act not other people.

 

This is the reason why Islam encourages you to marry a person who is good in their deen and has good character because such person understands that the devil is the enemy and that it's the devil's world and also knows what to do about it which only promotes towards having a succesful happy marriage with peace. Therefore choosing a spouse who has a good knowledge about the deen over their looks wealth and status makes you a winner.

 

Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Whoever marries a woman solely for her power and position, God will only increase him in humiliation. Whoever marries a woman solely for her wealth, God will only increase him in poverty. Whoever marries a woman because of her beauty, God will only increase him in ugliness. But whoever marries a woman in order that he may restrain his eyes, observe cautiousness, and treat his relations kindly, Allah puts a blessing in her for him and in him for her.

When the husband is happy 1 person is happy. When the wife is happy the whole family is happy.

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Ibtisam   

Leave him, he sounds like a manipulative immature *****, and you sound like a clingy, indecisive weak women (and he knows it too, hence he pulls your strings and then pats you on the head). His mother, sister, cats and nxt door friends will always take priority.

 

How anyone can stay married to someone the dont respect and admire at the very least is beyond me (unless if course you think you deserve it or cant get better) In your own words he is selfish, lazy, immature, uncaring and irresponsible (does want to work for his family)! great sounds like an ideal husband and you should bend over backwards to stay with him, so him and his family can take turns emotionally abusing you.

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Blessed   

*Ibtisam;826073 wrote:
In your own words he is selfish, lazy, immature, uncaring and irresponsible (does want to work for his family)! great sounds like an ideal husband and you should bend over backwards to stay with him, so him and his family can take turns emotionally abusing you.

She changed her mind about all that, my darling husband iyo I didn't mean it were her concluding remarks. Reminds me of that Somali proverb, walaasha isku ma hubtid seediga ha isku xumeyn, hence, it's better not to get involved in married peoples problems, especially when you only hear one side of the story.

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