Files of ur life

[Candy Floss]

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in a room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "People I Have Liked". I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

 

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

 

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

 

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed". The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read", "Lies I Have Told", "Comfort I Have Given", "Jokes I Have Laughed At". Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents". I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

 

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 30 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

 

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

 

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts", I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

 

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

 

And then I saw it.

 

The title bore "People that I Have Taught About Allah". The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

 

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room.

 

I must lock it up and hide the key.

 

:confused:

[Nur]

Simply, a Masterpiece

 

....................... eNuri Softwano Series

 

 

Nur

[Viking]

The hidden is worse than the manifest.

[S.O.S]

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts", I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

All our hidden evil thoughts that never come to act are forgiven by the Grace of Allah (swt): No recording of such courtesy exist, hopefully, one worry less.

[Nur]

S.O.S bro.

 

Concerning hidden motives You write:

 

No recording of such courtesy exist, hopefully, one worry less.

 

 

In Surah Al Baqara, Allah says " If you hide a motive or express it, Allah will hold you accountable, and afterwards, He forgives he who he wishes and will punish he who he wishes"

 

 

Nur

[me]

Perdy have yyou written this yourself? If so wow! if not still wow to the one that wrote it.

[me]

Alreday got it Joshua Harris, Next time please write down the source, no need for confusion

[S.O.S]

Thanks for pointing that out to us Sh Nur. In my understanding, the motive of intend in the quoted verse is not disclosing subsequent activity, only the apparent or hidden nature of the motive concerning given activity; and Allah always forgives whom He wishes, and punishes whom He wishes.

 

I was specifically referring to the saying of the prophet (peace be upon him): "Allah has forgiven my Ummah for thoughts that cross their minds, as long as they do not speak or act upon"

 

What's your opinion and can both narrations be reconciled in that matter?

[hodman]

That sent a chill up my spine. It seemed like I was the one looking at my files. SubhanAllah

[Wisdom_Seeker]

It was written by a Christian?????????

[Nur]

S.O.S bro.

 

Its true that the Prophet SAWS taight that thought of a bad action is not punishable, until committed, which is alos the gist of the verse in Al Baqara :" O Lord, do not hold us accountable for (obligations) we are ill prepared to assume."

 

However, ill thoughts of others can at time be punishable, Allah SWT says, " Some negative thinking of others can be a sin, hence punishable"

 

To reconcile the two, we have:

 

1. Thinking and planning to commit a sin or a crime

2. Thinking ill of others

 

The first falls in the realm of the Hadeeth, as it only concerns the person and his maker

 

The second falls in the realm of the verse which Allah is warning that we should stay clear from ill thinking of others, as that may qualify for a chastisement from Allah SWT.

 

 

It was reported that a pious scholar admitted that he did not make Tahajjud ( nightly voluntary prayers) for somje twenty years, which he realized after analysing the reason that it was a punishment from Allah SWT for a single sin: He said that one day as he entered a Masjid ( Mosque), he saw a man weeping in his supplication, a thought crossed his mind that the man was faking it as a show off. Now, we must realize that giving the benefit of doubt to others is an important aspect of islam

 

 

Nur