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Modesty

Would you marry just for love?

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STOIC   

^^ Ahem..I see you got your relationship manual close- which gives you emotional detachment from the rest :D

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Modesty   

Wow, those were some great replies. The first couple of replies were very much tilted to the parents side, whereas, the other people would go with their hearts. I honestly don't know what to do, I love MONEY, and i don't want a broke guy :rolleyes: But, it's not often people feel love these days, ya know?

 

Anyways, femme-fatale, I don't think two people need to be madly in love to get married, it's better to get married before the two people commit haraam acts, and they'll eventually fall in love; it's a process. Plus, love Hindi movies! Maybe that is why i have "calool jilicsan" :confused:

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Saalixa   

Modesty,

I have said this to many other sisters who have posted similar questions( these days the sisters are more inquisitive of such topics) and what i would advice is Marry only with the condition that you are knowing this man or women is going to shove you closer to your creator and ISLAM. Do not marry for just mere, mutual love like oohhh he satisfies me in all states of mind. Jal Jaleeca aanu iska deyno. Ilahay la talo saro and the first thing that comes to your mind let it be Ilahay and diintada. Is this person going to harm you by threatening your islamic aqeedah,knowledge or practice? is he a good mslim himslef? Sis have these questions in mind before all other things then yes MARRY HIM if he satisfies those conditions.

All other love is worderly and a great fitnah sis that Allah tests us with. Like FEMME FATALE I do not think they are perpetual especailly with this generation of life.

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would marry just for love, putting finances aside?

Now thats a HARD decision to make.

 

Love & Money....The only time those two words make sense to me is when i am saying it, *I love MONEY* ;)

 

Zeph, How do your parents know him?, they never took him to a date,talk with him on the phone,did the little silly things that "lovers' Do,etc etc... :confused:

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-Lily-   

JUST? I would say that love was pretty important. My mother married my dad when he was broke *** while she had MP sons and Business men sons after her, who had it 'all'because she loved him. 8 kids later they still have eyes only for one another.

 

Its about whether he has potential. Marrige isnt about meeting a 'settled' person, its about setteling together in life and making each others dreams come true and facing life's challenges TOGETHER. Even if he was loded , money can always run out.

 

Thats about it...

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salam all;

 

rayaan as usual u have hit the nail in the head!!

 

i can't think of a better way of saying it then you already have;

 

maca salam

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Rahima   

Someone cannot marry for love alone, never happens because love is an accumulation of other factors, be it character, physical features, chemistry etc. Love comes after one is satisfied with certain qualities of a person, therefore it is impossible to really say one married just for love.

 

We all have various opinions and factors which are important to us, for me akhlaaq would have to take the cake, even before diin simply because we all know a Muslim is the only person we would marry, but when we say diin we are contesting the degree of practice. There is no point in one having no akhlaaq but seemingly suburb diin (it’s an oxymoron in actuality). It would be nice to have both, but if not possible, I’d certainly choose the brother with akhlaaq, whom I get along with and has a love and potential for the practice of the diin. I’d rather have that than the person who has superb diin but we have nothing in common. In no way am I belittling the diin, but I suppose we all have different theories on what the cut-off mark for diin is. Also a great factor is potential, a drive, a goal in life, if the brother doesn’t have any of these (which sadly is the case for many brothers and sisters alike-they all want the average Xalima and Farah lifestyle) then macsalaama.

 

As for my parents, I value my mother’s opinion more, she is fair, my father believes that most young Somali men are to put it loosely losers. He expects everyone to be just like him, and that is almost next to impossible.

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Qac Qaac   

u guys make it difficult.. rayaana said it all..have simple conditions.. plus ur 2 personal conditions and deen.. then is over.. also parents have to be fair.. and come out with a good reason why they are not letting their doughter marry the man she wants.. he looks like a looser.. doesn't cut it... if the father is amazing with the things he accomplished na.. he shouldn't be judging the ppl..like they have to be like him.. anyways rayaana said it all..

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From my point of view, marriage is a pit that is bottomless. You just keep falling and falling until you break your back. Farah style unions tend to creat havoc and problems after some time. For all you sista's out their who have this fancy idea of marrying a brother that you knew for less than two year, make sure you take slow steps otherwise you will fall out of the pan and into the fire!. :eek: :eek:

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Castro   

he is Somali( speaks somali), Muslim(prays 5 times or more), educated(went to college...or more), is ambitious and smart( can carry a conversation besides sports and wants to make something of himself)...is respectful to himself and to others( treats others well and doesn't act the fool), is social (is not a loner), he is funny( makes me laugh)....if he is all those things and he is cute to me (cause beauty is in the eye of the beholder), then I will fall in love with him and so will my parents

Have you considered other options? Fantasy island is just a show on TV you know!

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nafta   

^^^ Since when was setting standards for yourself a fantasy?

 

Modesty, to answer your question I would have to say Hell No!

 

Let me tell you this; Love runs out, Money doesn't!

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Castro   

I want to know is how many of you would marry just for love, putting finances aside? [/QB]

I would certainly marry just for lust.

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Foxy   

Hey there,

 

Sis, sorry for assuming that U were a sis, since I made the least effort in reading through the whole thread, call me lazy or what ever, I take blame of all counts found guilty of.....sound like a saint/nun lolz soon U folks might ask why do u choose christain identities, only Lord knows such myterious questions than Y must one ask?

anyway, kinda forgot what was I to ask....blame it on the sheydaan that made me forget...looolz

Yea h right why would one marry??//..... If U ask me, just to get laid...lols thats just a joke....okey on a seriuos notes

may be you want to be a passionate, intense relationship, and it's crucial to be committed than the whole marriage circle might suit U . call me a mad pyscho analist....or what ever........but tend to be a firm believer of the cynical world..lolz with bit smiles since i happen to have white teeth that are symmetric.......

smile.gifsmile.gif

 

 

cheers

'"Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider."

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