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Naden

For the love of all that is holy, just don't put me in the ground!

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Naden   

I had the misfortune of reading about an ex-classmate's death a few days ago. Her car crashed less than a couple of miles from her home but when it's time, it's time.

 

I didn't know her in person but her family's dedication mentioned a cremation and a scattering over mountains. If I were one of their own, I would decline to be the actual person doing the scattering since gusty winds can do funny things and blow dead girl remains into my hair.

 

Anyway, I feel for her family's sorrow and her untimely passing. And it has me pondering how I would want my body interred following death? I am a firm believer in the cycle of life, food chains, and dusty beginnings. I would have asked to be thrown to a bunch of hyenas so they would at least have a good dinner but given my family's longevity, I think I will be too bony and chewy for the poor things.

 

I am not too fond of burial. As I begin to decompose, I'll smell like my younger brother's feet. I am too much of a fcuking lady to smell.

 

Do I want anybody there at the disposal of my bones? Maybe one or two people to say that I was nice and occasionally kind. Anybody who hates me can come along where I'm headed for all I care.

 

The history of humanity is rife with struggles with the notion of death. From glorious pyramids to the morbid work of today's morticians, we just don't want to go. But if I do, just don't put me into the ground, or in a vase, a fridge, the bottom of a lake, cemented in a downtown building, burnt to a crisp in a Toyota Prius, sitting in formaldehyde as idjit would-be doctors practice cutting, thrown into a mass grave with people I would kill if alive,..............

 

Does it really matter, though, once the fat lady has sung?

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Looking from the perspective of the living, it does matter insofar your remains don't pose any health risk-I'm too practical and far less philosiphical.

 

As for me, I would have preferred cataclysmic end that obliterates everything and no, I'm not volunteering for suicide mission.

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Cara.   

Hmmm, never really thought about it. How about out into space? Imagine your body drifting out past the furthest spot any human has ever been, sort of 2001: A Space Odyssey-like but without the freaky giant fetus business. But I guess it would have to be propelled to avoid spiraling into the sun? Bummer. I would want to be wearing only butterfly wings and a beatific expression. That way if there's intelligent life out there that discovers my remains it completely sets them off on the wrong track for a spell :D

 

Other possibility: Crazy cat lady. They say a cat's hunger wins out over any affection for its former master in about 3 days (many dogs would sooner starve to death). Your scrawny frame might be a bit off-putting to Mr. Mittens though :D

 

Which religion in India does the thing with the ravens (sky burial or something)? I always thought that had a grim poetry to it.

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Castro   

Originally posted by Naden:

Does it really matter, though, once the fat lady has sung?

Yes. It costs 10 times more to bury than to cremate. So much money that could go to a college fund instead of the ground. You can swing me off a tree for all I care.

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NGONGE   

Naden,

 

Surely, more creatures will benefit from your remains if you were buried (warms, plants, insects, etc). I bet none of them mind the smell either.

 

Besides, if you were cremated, exploded, eaten by ravens (Zoroastrianism, Cara) that will be it for you! Now if you were buried, your memory could (arguably) live forever. There is a park in Liverpool (not a big or famous park) where I once saw a grave of a donkey that was buried there in 1790. Now I am sure you are better than a donkey.

 

All this reminds me of Spike Milligan and his insistence that his grave carry the epitaph: I told you I was ill. :D

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Naden   

Che, a cataclysmic end seems almost too good to be true.

 

Cara, the cats would not get much from my carcass but being shot into space is intensely appealing. A little like Ripley and her monster :D

 

A&T, oh, are you still sulking, snookumspoo? icon_razz.gif

 

Castro, voice of reason. Those extortionate burial prices are best suited for a trust fund. And for what, to take up precious earthly space?

 

Ngonge, the plants can only benefit if I bypass the pine bed. To be honest, I don't want my memory to live forever (or even half an hour). It just doesn't mean a thing for the dead, in my opinion. LOL @ Milligan :D

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ailamos   

I saw this documentary about the Tibetan way of life and when a person dies, they chop the body into several pieces and leave it on a rocky escapement so that vultures can feast on the body. By the time they're done, there's nothing left. No dirt, no decomposition, no grave. That one spot serves as a 'burial ground' and the vultures are aware of it.

 

I wouldn't mind being buried, despite the costs associated with it. I see my friend visit his grandparents grave on his birthday every year and stay there for a couple of hours 'talking' to them. His grandparents were married for 60 years and they are buried next to one another, somehow there's something idyllic about it.

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Jacpher   

You took dhulka for granted. Perhaps, it refused to house you.

 

Naden, you better worry about how you live. It is not important what happens to your body after you die.

Wise words. In other words, you can't do jack about anything when that moment arrives but you can do something today to better prepare yourself for it.

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Naden   

ailamos, interesting Tibetan ritual! I can dig feeding another creature. This business of burial and pilgrimage to the site of the bones seems a little off to me. Though I am cool with a straight drop into a hole and flowers blooming from the fertilizer.

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Naden   

Khayr, I quite like everyone's take on the process. Ngonge believes in the cycle of life with other creatures benefiting potentially. Cara is open to a space odyssey and a possible rebirth with 32nd century technology (my hope). I wouldn't mind that one bit. Che doesn't desire destruction but disappearing into thin air has its advantages. Castro is pragmatic, especially with the loan shark rates of today's grave diggers. Ailamos brings forth another group of people who leave memories but not bodies. All viable post-breath options, attractive in their own rights. Where did you say they have running water and food all year round? Something tells me I won't have a use for either.

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Cicero   

^ Can you dig feeding any creature, say, a creature from our species? The indigenous Yanomamö of South America allegedly eat the ashes of their deceased with banana paste and soup. Spurred by sentiments of affection and devotion, these noble savages believe that by consuming a beloved one they can imbibe the decedent's traits: courage, wisdom, and kindness. Endocannabalism is such a heart-warming form of cannibalism, but I'd much prefer to be gormandized by hyenas and vultures.

 

I always thought I didn't give a toss whether I was burnt, eaten, or thrown into a hole whenever my brain grinds to a halt. My views have evolved a little: I think I want my bones to remain. Assuming there's no repeat of the near-perfect annihilation of all life on Earth, the end-Permian extinction, the so-called great-dying, and assuming we homo sapiens don't go the way of 98% of all species ever to have inhabited this pale blue dot, I want my bones to take their place in the fossil record a few million years hence - Cicero Somalicus. icon_razz.gif What would those future species of primates think of us?

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ailamos   

LOL@ Cicero somalicus... Nice!!! :D ... perhaps by that time either all humans will be, according to comedian Russell Peters, a high-bred mix of beige Chinese/Indian or each race will be a separate species e.g. Homo somalicus (subspecies nomadicus), Homo mexicanus (subspecies burritocus), Homo afroamericanus (subspecies kool-aidus)... and so on...

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