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why most black men dating white girls..

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An interesting article..nomads what do you think on this issue?


Steve Pope

Friday March 11, 2005

The Guardian


Sol Campbell, Thierry Henry, Kofi Annan, Trevor McDonald, Frank Bruno, David Lammy MP. Why is it that prominent black men so often choose white partners?


Some will balk at the question - and of course, who a person finds attractive is entirely a matter for them. But while that is true on an individual basis, when you look at the bigger picture the question is valid: for while most men choose a partner of the same race or cultural background, black men are much more likely to marry a different-race partner, and in most cases a white one.


Article continues

According to the most recent National Survey of Ethnic Minorities, half of Caribbean-origin men had a white partner, and 40% of Caribbean origin children had one white parent. In contrast, 80% of Asian men had same-race partners. "For most of us, the mixing of races is the inevitable result of socialising in big cities," says the writer Sophie Radice. True. In fact, white female fascination with black men, and vice versa, is as old as slavery and stereotypes of the black male libido.


But what is happening now is not the result of random, individual choice but a manifestation of a rejection of black women. Sure, you hear all the cliche rhetoric about "I don't see colour" or "love is colour-blind", but not even the person saying it believes a word of it. The unfortunate bottom line is that most of these "brothers" think their sistas are an inferior product. What makes the situation galling is that rather than accept that's how they see things, the men try and come up with a thousand reasons why black women are their own worst enemies.


When black journalist David Matthews explained in an Evening Standard column why he dated only white women, predictably it wasn't because he thought white women were "better". It was simply that black women had so much "wrong" with them.


Dr Grace Cornish, psychologist and author of 10 Good Choices That Empower Black Women's Lives, knows the reason for the self-denial. "A lot of black men struggle to reach a certain level, and they never feel they have reached the level of their white counterparts," she says. "They feel they need a white woman as part of that lifestyle. These are the ones who have a backlash against black women. They have not dealt with their own internal anger. Instead, they see the opposite sex within their own race as the problem."


Some would argue that because so many images in the modern world portray beauty and status as being manifested in Europeans it is not surprising that black men will have white partners. But if that's the explanation, why, compared to black men, do relatively few Indian, Chinese or Pakistani men choose white women? After all, they are exposed to the same Eurocentric cultural bias as us Caribbean males. No, our partner-choosing habits have more to do with self-loathing and lack of sista love. So what has made the situation in which half of black British males refuse to have a black wife or girlfriend? The explanations are wide-ranging and complex.


Alienation between black men and women goes as far back as the "divide and rule" days of slavery, when traditional family structures were broken up. Look at post-apartheid South Africa, which has the highest recorded number of rapes in Africa, to see the legacy official practices of destroying family structures can have on black male-female relationships.


Decades of racial repression and, more recently, the breakdown of solidarity among black communities, have helped create a climate of lack of self-respect among black males. One only needs to listen to the typical "Ho, b**ch, N****r" lyrical content of the average rap record to realise that black self-hatred is alive and well.


A growing number of black women are fed up waiting for their black knight in shining armour, who is more interested in rescuing Rapunzel. The most recent UK figures showed that 30% of black Caribbean women have white partners. I asked a prominent Asian businessman why so many in his community had prospered in the west. "We have strong family structures and support," he said. Sadly, the same cannot be said for the black population. With most black children being raised in single-parent households and so many boys - in the absence of a black father-figure - growing up to fail, it is clear why building strong black male-female relationships is vital. Without this in place, what social or economic hope is there for the black community's next generation?



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It's true most African American guys especially like a white women. This is due to Black families since their migration to the North from the rural south and how their family structure was reorganized to become more matriarical(female-headed) than mainstream America which is most White and patriarchal(male-headed). Black females especially those college educated ones with middle-income salaries often feel hard to find a successful black male, since most black males in this country don't really go to college, and most of them don't have jobs because black females get hired more than black males. With no other choice the black female ends up hooking up with a white male, despite Black women's preference for Black males. However, Black males tend to go with white women, especially athletes. Asian women tend to marry white guys more, and Asian men and Black women are the only ones left. Asian men are not preferred in this society because of streotypes of "not having enough". The Black female is streotyped as being "unattractive" with a big nose, and nappy hair and basically "un-caucasian" features. What is next, maybe Asian males and African American females should hook up?

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This Email I got it from a enjoy reading it



Subject: Letter written by a white woman...and the response by a black man

This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Read on............So great to

find this Black Prince defending us like this...



It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by

a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so

glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!


This letter was written in response to an article in Sister 2 Sister:


Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking,educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about ourrelationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.


Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on.


But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men

want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.


Disgusted White Girl,

Somewhere in VA.





Dear Jamie:


I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White



Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women.


Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my women neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.


Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I

have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women. And, to flip the scrip, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess.


Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the

caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you

how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to praise your children. It was black women who were breast

feeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.


Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing

about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons

to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to

inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think

that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.


BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am

looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.



Black Royalty

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