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Ms DD

Would like to pick your brain

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WHT 21 WHT OKY TELL ME PUJA URE joking right am sorry plz its enough man this dayz have a hard time to knw how 2 deal with woman ie should they open the doors or not? they dont need uz confusing them anymore am sorry man are suppose 2be a man and that meanz being gallant, knightly to the concept of lady in distress courteus this are fundamental elements of the wooing process goosh watch the animal channelz even the animalz have a ritual and who said a 21cent woman needs to change wht nature intended a man to do am sorry i like him to open doors and pay the bills thank u very much......

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Pujah   

^^ Like I said our men do insist on paying the bill hon but just incase you should have no problem coming from your pocket. By the way, opening the door stuff happens on first date only, after that you should be ready to open your own darn doors.

 

EDIT: You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You are either modern woman who wants to have partner to share with everything including the bills. Or you can be stay at home type gal and in that case you can demand your knight…just so you know though there aren’t any knights in this world.

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Cambarro....He is messing with her.

 

P.S Could there be cultural aspect to this? I find out that Somali women and women in general put up alot of crap when dating men from other cultures.

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Jamster   

"Bilaash Xeyte" @lol; my grandfather would definetely call this chap-- Xeyr Xade.

 

This is not a dilema; it is a clear cut case of man being torn between Somali love and Foreign fun!!!

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Ms DD   

Update:

 

He broke her heart yesterday (after he told her to take off work and spend a whole day together but she refused and asked to meet somewhere public) when he told her that he didnt want to committ and that she was a great girl, everyman would be proud to make her his wife blah blah blah....

 

Why do women fall for this crap?

 

Bloomdeyr: I love the phrase "man being torn between Somali love and Foreign fun!!!"

 

You realise Somali love could be fun too..right?

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Aaliyyah   

loooool if i was dating that man, as soon as i hear his ex is in his house i would have been outa of that relationship.period.

 

wa salaam

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Nehanda   

It is quiet sad and obvious that he has no respect or affection towards your friend.

 

It is also understandable and natural that your friend is not heeding your advice. Although we might be astounded about her idiocy and naïveté, we have to bear in mind that it is a different matter when you have feelings for that person. Even the best of us can fall prey to our misguided heart.

 

I know it is frustrating to see your friend going through this ordeal but until she is ready to let go, the situation would remain. It might not be obvious but it does help having a good friend at your side hence do continue advising and supporting her.

 

A suitable remedy would be to erase him from her life through deleting his contact details and even changing her number(s) so that he would find it difficult to communicate with her. In addition, perhaps she needs a distraction, such as she should go on holiday (it does help) or even take up a new hobby.

 

On a note, I believe since he did not obtain what he wanted at the beginning of the relationship, for instance moving the relationship to the next level without matrimony it was a better option to lay his cards on the table in the hope that she would believe him to be genuine about her.

 

If he honestly cared for her knowing how she felt towards him, he would not have permitted his ex-fiancé to reside with him.

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Why do women fall for this crap?

Maybe it is in their nature. They try to see the good in people though there is really nothing attractive to look at. Sometimes, people have to find things the hard way. Hopefully, she will learn from it, and move on without any regrets.

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Originally posted by Captain Xalane:

Some one should knock the hell out of the dude.Damn,u don't just mess around with a fine woman.

Perhaps you're two young which explains your naive disposition towards dealings between the sexes. As 65 yr old grandpa of seven grand children let me share with you some valuable truths regarding women.

 

There's a lot you don't know about women. Even women don't know themselves sometimes. Women are complicated creatures, more so than men. Generally speaking they're very finicky, fussing over minutest of details. Consider the exhausting amount of time they spend looking "pretty". Every decision for them entails a million and one considerations most having little or no bearings whatsoever on what's being considered. Good portion of them are perennially antsy, worrying and dreading the future even if the outlook descries hopeful.

 

Understanding complicated beings demands subtle discernment not crude form that says "beating woman is automatically abusing woman". Some women are sadomasochists. These are ultra-minority of women who get off on physical violence, they get gratification sexual or otherwise from being knocked around. The saying "if you don't beat me you don't love me" didn't come from thin air. Physical violence from husband to wife is seen among some as demonstration of affection. Like composing a poem or sweet ditty to show love for special one, you beat the living day light out of her to prove you love her. Important distinction needs to be made. The beating has to be non-life threatening, else it loses all the endearment attached to it. If you're White you slap her gently, if asian you scourge her in bed although some say this achieves very little, if Somali you whip her with your Bakoorad but only gently and away from vital organs and be careful not to break any bones.

 

Learning the full range of female complexity took me long time and there's no reason to expect otherwise for anyone else. That said, what I imparted to you should serve as good guideline but that's not sufficient you still need direct personal experience to fully appreciate their sophisticated behaviour, emotional states and thought process of woman.

 

A circumspect individual upon gaining new light on a matter changes perspective accordingly. I got a cruel and devestating awakening to change my view from direct personal experiences that refuted my long held believe that men were always wrong to beat women. It hit me like a ton of bricks and to be candid with you I'm stil reeling from it. The thought that you can get a kick out of being roughed up was so perverse it defied believe. Me being someone generally considered to be limber minded. Repeatedly I've been told by women, pointblank, they dig being hit around although none were tolerant of extreme beating, just gentle type. According to them it was reassuring, their husbands/partners loved them to the point they'd take time aside to beat them in place of benign neglect. These women didn't seem to be under any duress, exhibited no subservient attitude; in fact they were among the most self-assured confident women I've ever met... no Abused wife syndrome was at work. Just seemingly normal women with perverted inclinations.

 

Nowadays when I see a man roughing up a woman, I employ my 3-point mediating procedure. First I break it up so there's no chance of further aggrevation. Second, I take each aside to demonstrate my impartiality. Third, I ask her "naa ma ka heshaa garaaca?" and ask him "qowsaaro naagtan wexey ii sheegtey inaad sida dumarka aad u garaacdi ayada, ma run baa?". I found these questions have calming influence although I've been told it's the act of separating them, giving them time and space which allows them to cool off but I'll holding steadfast to my theory.

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SB,in this case,its the dude that needs a knock,not the dudette.I disagree with ur notion that problems can be solved through violent means(only in relationships),as of beating her,however light it might be.How can u understand creatures that do not understand themselves as u claim?I sure am naive.

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Jamster   

SB: your inclination towards giving profanatory explinations is alarmingly normal with someone of your soiled mind. You never fail to disappoint. Keep them coming we love you for it ;) .

 

PS: Cambaro, pray tell what is Somali fun Love? I thought love (genericly speaking) is clinical and completely mundane. Whence the hiatus is reached the mystery vanishes taking the fun with itself. Of course, i am in the dire hope to be corrected :D

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