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Ilhaan M.

Single mother going for a single guy!

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I am a firm believer that true love is not and has never been measured by the number of children that a woman has. I stand by the firm beliefs that love is a gift from Allah that should be shared by all. I have never limited my search to a woman with no children. In fact, I have a great deal of respect for a woman having the courage to maintain deep strength of keeping her children together in a loving home without the assistance of a man.

As for the brother, one shouldn’t even try to analyse his motives rather bless him for even thinking of the prospect of taking on the responsibility of looking after the kids and ofcouse sharing the mother’s life. She would certainly benefit from a relationship from a man who is single and has no baggage. For one he could be a true Muslim for wanting to do what is right by her and in Allah’s eyes. Secondly he may be in love with the lady and her kids. Where the question of children arises, he will only marry another woman because she is presently disabled in some way from having any kids for him due to either the biological clock no longer ticking or perhaps if she so feels like not adding to her burden. Either way it’s their decision to make one way or other.

As a Muslim, marrying a single mother and helping her raise her kids is not only gutsy in this day and age but also has plenty of thawaab. Allah is merciful and will bless any man who goes a step further and marries the single parent. Let’s not forget how Islam feels about a man who marries a single mom. Unfortunately sometimes Islam is not the only issue, the responsibility that he has to carry is also a factor not to be taken lightly. I would like to believe that when you love someone that feeling can overcome everything but that would be like living in a dream world created and based on feelings and only feelings. Cause lets not forget; every Muslim men needs a Muslim women and every Muslim women needs a Muslim men to complete there lives. But Allah swt knows best.

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Originally posted by Amethyst:

 

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

 

Am I the only one who finds
Xiin's post vilifying?

Dhuubo, don’t read too much in to it!

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NoVa   

Ilhaam ya'know i think every1 here gave good advice's. Specially Baashi and QL...those guys said it right and even look @ the greater'side of having both parents in marriage. But only ur friend know's this man so well, and i hope whatever decision she comes, it's a good one..insha allah.

 

lol@QacQac "its time 4 her to return the favour" u said it like she Owe's him something if he marries her...ala adigaa war tarbiib bal'..waxee u owe gareesaaba iska jiree...qasab miyaa waxla arko???

 

Layziee Thnxxs'girl,...how's ya doing??? ya'iknow i like 2 digg'things out of no'whole...at least ya'understood moe...long time no c'girl....still with PhillY????'somethings never change...lol

 

LEgendofZu waraaa kabax meesha ya still living in those caves ha idhihin???? loool Now lets go back 2 the topic. I don't think the sista is selfish not 2 share him, Alright..well Lets not use the word 'selfish here', and by the way if the brotha wants 2 explore the market...well aint' nobody's stoppin him..right..lol.."Hit the Road Jack and Don't u come back no More No MORe"...dat song should play ontime.. :D

 

But imagine if she did had a Mr.Right before and he let her down??? and look what happend now, he's not there and she' has 2 take care of their kids on her own???...what's the different half of the men r like dat..Any1 could be could bo so great when they want 2 get to know u, and be here and there for u every moment that u need them...but people change once they get marry. Reality Hit's, and they aren't as much as they use 2 be....and who'knows lets just say she doesn't want that to happend again. She doesn't want to go throught the same thing again...after all'she probably let her guards down before...yaknow, and she doesn't want to make the same mistake over again. Who'knows maybe she's trying 2 learn not to jump 2 another marriage that fast u'know, having kids and having failed marriage again....and who'knows this probably why she' has made it clear not to have any more children...Ya'know, Nobody likes to have another broken home twice, once maybe it's bearable, and the second time???don't even wanna think'bout it...And the Brotha should know why...at least it's fair that he understands where she's coming from...

 

lol@nin Yaaban "Singe Mothers 4 SIngle Fathers"

Ya'know that might work walaahi, gosh all the single mother's in the neighborhood...i could gather all the single fathers in town ya'know..lol..Bring them'all 2gether

 

 

QL very well said there "every Muslim men needs a Muslim women and every Muslim women needs a Muslim men to complete there lives. But Allah swt knows best."

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Qac Qaac   

Nova maxaa. asxaan ufalay iyadoo 4 ama 5 cunug banaanka lataagan oo xareeyay.. so she has to nooh... but anyways there are health reasons.. so i guess she is off the hook..

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Tuujiye   

War been maa la isku sheegaa mise run...loooool..

Naag single mother ah hadee hesho nin single ah oo wili yar..baashaal ma ahee wax kale maka rabto..in ee jidka la marto, iska sheeg sheegato oo ee ku faanto..sidii dharka camal ama boorsada gacanta camal aa marna la iska huwanaa marna la iskaga laaf yoonaa..lol..inta kale iska hamaansi waaye...war maan wadeenaa...

 

Wareer Badanaa!!!

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dawoco   

Tuujiye why do i have this creepy feeling that u speaking from experience? Mise halahaas maskaxdaada lee kasoo aliftay? :D

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Tuujiye   

lol.....dawaco kalay adi ciyaalka waxaa tahay oo roob markuu soo da'o banaanka intee u baxaan carada fag fagi jiray yaah..rabsho iyo adi shufeer iyo atanti aa isku tihiin yaah..marax yahee kuyuuso cagaarta ah..kir ma is barateen wili? maalmahaan kir aa ko wiideeneysay..

 

Wareer Badanaa!!!

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dawoco   

You are right, quraanshada neh waan dabakici jiray si aan u arko meesha ee u hoyaneeyso :D

 

As for kir, weligeey ma baran, laakin adaa si fiican u taqaanee kir iyo habiyarteed kut ba ma na bari kartaa icon_razz.gif

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I am, uncharacteristically, in a dismissive mood today! This thread has been on its way to dampen this attitude, but again the names of some of the posters got my attention and deserve to be the receiving end of my momentary rudeness! :mad:

 

 

Baal Dooro, what a feminine name for a man who deservedly qualifies to be nominated for the most masculine man in SOL. Waryaa get rid yourself off this womanly name! You could easily be a Diiq!

 

Haddii kale, I will call you a Biiq. redface.gif

 

 

---------rerteating to his bunker--------------

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Pacifist   

Originally posted by Ilhaan M.:

Asc wr wb.

 

Ladies & gentlemen, Ur advice is needed. There is this single man who wants to share his life with this single mother. She already has children and wants no more, but he is just starting his life, therefore needs/wants children. To find a solution to this problem, he sugests to marry her now and another lady in the future. The second lady can, hopefully, give him children.

 

This man is so Mr Right for her, but does she dare to share him!??

 

What would U do/advice to this lady?

Ilhan sis how does she feel about the single guy? She should do a Pro's and COn's

If he is everything she need then why not... the sharing part I can understand but you never know.

 

And also what is wrong with a single guy marrying a divorcee... This is the best kind of marriage walahi the single guy is getting more blessing from ALLAH. Prophet Mohamed peace be upon him would always advise the single men to marry the widowers and the divorcee's all the time.

 

Hey I say what ever rocks your boat. She should really consider... Anyways good luck to her..

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dawoco   

xiinfaniin, your moods don't concern me and as such shouldn't be indulged on my account. Concidering the fact that you have never crossed paths with me I find your over familiarity with my person quite invasive.

 

I'm sure you will agree that commenting on someone's personality while you have never interacted with them is highly dubious, so with that in mind I will thank you to remove my name from your post.

 

Unless of course you want to insult me further more by refusing a friendly request? I'm sure you won't disappoint, "gorgeousness" redface.gif

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Juxa   

so interesting! while i find the man's actions to be a husband and a father to this single lady commendable, and i can understand to some extend his needs for children, i think it is better not to get involved right now if it is gonna end up with tears.

 

imagine he married this lady and the children get attached to him, eventually he is going to go off with another woman, have kids, someone is bound to be jealous, those kind of deals never materialise and work, someone will end up hurting, either the single lady, her children or both! then it is gonna be another divorce.

 

QL,,,,,,,i have bit of issue with the word disabled, she has already being blessed, so it aint as bad as if she was a barren!

 

i think, if he marries another lady, there wont be a guarantee she will bear him children. only allah knows. on the other hand, maybe he should let this lady be, and marry a single person. prevention is better than cure, alternatively they could both say tawakal calalah :D

 

may allah help them both.

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