Sign in to follow this  
Instinct.Poet

Sista's Too Smart To Marry?

Recommended Posts

it has appealed to me strangely,and some of us may not be aware of it.

But unfortunately,the sad fate of

high-achieving sista's who have climbed too high

to find a suitable mate has increased in our

community.Sista's will move up on society

competing with men on every level,now,sista's moving up still strive to marry

up.When realistically Men moving up still tend to marry down. The

two sexes' going in opposite directions has led to

an epidemic of professional sista's missing out on

husbands and kids.I've read somewhere a study which

found that women's "desirability" dropped as their

IQs increased.Talk about too smart for your own good.Don't get the wrong impression of this topic.

This was written just to give you snapshot of a reality

that i had witnessed repetitive times here in

Minneapolis.I believe this case exists elsewhere

as we're all embrace in the 21st century.

 

Question???

 

 

How can we mediate this problem?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cara.   

Maybe it's not a problem to be "mediated", Clever-Trevor.

 

I've read somewhere a study which

found that women's "desirability" dropped as their

IQs increased.Talk about too smart for your own good.

Is it possible that being "desirable" to men is not point #1 on the agenda of women with high IQs anyway? But if they're REALLY unhappy with their lot in life they could get a frontal lobotomy and men would be panting after them in no time ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Originally posted by Cara:

[QB] Maybe it's not a problem to be "mediated", Clever-Trevor.

Is it possible that being "desirable" to men is not point #1 on the agenda of women with high IQs anyway? But if they're REALLY unhappy with their lot in life they could get a frontal lobotomy and men would be panting after them in no time
;)

lol, You do make a good point.However,lets keep in

mind in our community it is a priority #1 for most

Somali women to ideally marry and have kids

eventually.The society dictates on free choice for

most part or to certain extent, but in the end the simple rules that

are overlooked may haunt you.Such rules apply to

importance of family value, like natures course,

where the mother nurtures and presence need to be

a full time role at home.Now, i ask you, how could

this be possible if natures laws are being

rebelled against?

 

I think the investment should be a good man.

Build him, encourage him.Instead of a dead end career 9-5.

 

Ps.This has nothing to do, with womens rights.

So please, lets save that for another time.

I'm in favor for Independence and opportunity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
chubacka   

Originally posted by CLEVER-TREVOR:

 

I think the investment should be a good man.

Build him, encourage him.Instead of a dead end career 9-5.

 

[/QB]

what if your investment does not pay off? I dnt see any prob wid sisters working their way up, getting a career although it is true they tend to marry later.

 

but is there really a crisis, dnt these sisters jst marry older men, who have also been career minded?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Horta waxaan la yaabay, rag la soo taagan naag caqli badan iska ilaali amaba ka carara markay arkaan a professional woman; waxaas oo kale baa raganimo xumo la yiraaah! caku bi'iwaa Cabdi Nuuroow!

 

If you see a sizzling xaliimo with some professional credentials, yeey idin dhaafin inkaartii nebi muuse yey idinku dhicin ma idin iraah.

 

Clever Trevor, if what ou described is true you have two potential outcomes; either the farax's need to lift their game or the xaliimos will marry from outside. Simple!

 

Salaamaat

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RedSea   

Clever trever,

 

lol...you make alot of sense, but wazzup with the style of writing, almost like inaad gabyayso.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nephissa   

I think the
investment
should be a
good man.

Build him, encourage him.Instead of a dead end career 9-5.

Where's KK qax qax qax ha tiraahee? :D

 

Build and encourage him kuye, L000L. Reminds me of my ayeeyo: "Mid uun iska jaf-jafta." If they want someone jafjafo, to treat them like a child..go back home to mummy!! Muxuu kaasi 'sistas' ka u sheegi? Unless, he's willing to stay home to look after the kids and do the ironing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Blessed   

Smart, hardworking sistas shouldn't be making any concessions, if the pond doesn't have many fish, one needs to start fishing at the river.

 

As they say, good things, come to those who bait, so we first need to establish whether the smart sisters want some fish, or if there's actually a shortage of it to begin with....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Where's KK qax qax qax ha tiraahee?

 

Build and encourage him kuye, L000L. Reminds me of my ayeeyo: "Mid uun iska jaf-jafta." If they want someone jafjafo, to treat them like a child..go back home to mummy!! Muxuu kaasi 'sistas' ka u sheegi? Unless, he's willing to stay home to look after the kids and do the ironing.

Nothing wrong with encouraging your bf or husband, your goal is to marry the good man ---making him a good man wax xun maaha...again let me ask you invested intaas oo lacag ah to get Career..why not midka aad nolasha la qeebsa laheed..yaab! daaweeey rabaan dadkaan( i meaan gebdhaha somaliyeed)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As they say, good things, come to those who bait, so we first need to establish whether the smart sisters want some fish, or if there's actually a shortage of it to begin with

You have Test in Men and you know what? that test is driver/force that map you to one guy..waxa dhahdaa alow midka fiican igu aadii..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ibtisam   

Originally posted by Legend of Zu:

Horta waxaan la yaabay, rag la soo taagan naag caqli badan iska ilaali amaba ka carara markay arkaan a professional woman; waxaas oo kale baa raganimo xumo la yiraaah! caku bi'iwaa Cabdi Nuuroow!

 

If you see a sizzling xaliimo with some professional credentials, yeey idin dhaafin inkaartii nebi muuse yey idinku dhicin ma idin iraah.

 

Clever Trevor, if what ou described is true you have two potential outcomes; either the farax's need to lift their game or the xaliimos will marry from outside. Simple!

 

Salaamaat

First time I agree with LOZ. What is wrong with these described "men"? :rolleyes: If sisters are getting ahead in life, it makes no sense to ask them to dumb themselves down so some good-for-nothing insecure farax can feel better and comfortable about his position in life. Perhaps it is time they acknowledge that they are getting left behind and show some really improvement instead of constantly moaning that women are too smart. Advocating for a dumb-down nation is not the solution. It is sad that sisters have to baby-sit and drag under performing Farax’s who on top of this has complexities about her achievements. Nor should she have to settle for shaping, modeling, motivating and bringing up an adult who has no desire to aim high or improve.

 

Clever Trevor there is no such thing as climbing too high, you can always go higher, and male and female alike should inspire to exceed their previous limit and somewhat improve rather than reaching a stage and then becoming stagnate, regardless of marriage, kids or life, simple because the world is constantly changing and you will need to adapt to new social, political and economic conditions.

 

I doubt this has led to an epidemic of professional sisters missing out on husbands and kids. There are few high flying Farax’s around and many non-Somali high flying men if all else fails.

 

Loool @ women's "desirability" dropped as their IQs increased! Yeah I heard giggling blonds was top on the men’s list. I agree with Cara on this one. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Blessed   

^ :D Well put, hunny.

 

Nothing wrong with encouraging your bf or husband, your goal is to marry the good man ---making him a good man wax xun maaha...

Maha! Laakin, you men have a nice little term for gabdhaha who do that, muxuu ahaa, tolow? Aah, yes. A nag! Nin ay hoyaadii kari weyday, ma naag faciisaa badali karta? Khashaara.

 

As for the test, it's really not that difficult, you can actually have fun with it. smile.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RED SEA What can i say,perhaps my mind still set on that past InstinctPoet mode.

I guess i'm not the only one,however.

 

CARA

What is it men in women do require?

The lineaments of gratified desire.

What is it women in men do require?

The lineaments of gratified desire.

guess many of you misunderstood me,I apologize

for my lack

explanation on this particular topic.

Basically, my implementation of the subject of

matter is that the number of married sista's with

advanced degrees has decreased dramatically in our

community.This enormity has created mass concern

within our community.Wait! let me tell you a

little story.

 

Here in Minneapolis we have a weekly "Young Somali

Professionals Rotary" meetings.

Where minds alike gather and discuss current

affairs from varies topics such politics religion

culture education relationships and etc.Among us

are Doctors,Teachers,professors,IT's,Engineers,

Architect's,Entrepreneurs,Realtors,Brokers,Financiers&

Bankers. Accountants,Nurses, and Pharmacist.

A week past we took survey of 32 current member of which

17 of the group were sisters. The purpose for that survey was

to identify relationship problems in our growing

community specially in diaspora.Therefore,among the

17 sisters 2 were married 1 was engaged 14 were

single, on the other hand out of 15 brothers 11

were married 2 were posted soon and 2 were single.

We're a small number,but compared to Somali

population we represent a great percentage in the

professional fields.

 

 

With that story in mind now,What seems to be the problem?

 

The reason I said Invest in good man is that,

the rate you sisters are going you will surely

surpass the Somali brothers.Therefore,when that

happens,well nothing like brushing up a diamond in

the rough and start wearing it.

 

 

For those of you whom i have hard time cracking

their skull here is a image.

motherandchild100.jpg29WOMEN.1.600.jpg

 

This>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Or>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> That

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not-so-Clever Trevor (...ok.. j/k)

 

Although the cause you're championing is noble, and one should always look internally in the community for prospective partners, reality is that most of these girls do not have the luxury of time to make these boys into men. I know I certainly dont, and altho some would consider me a spring chicken right now :D , and fresh where career is concerned, I certainly do not envision setting up home with someone who needs to trek through school for another 3-4yrs and then another 2-3yrs to find his footing. Thats a minimum of 5yrs. For a girl who has her life in order, and whose next goal is to get married and have a family, thats too much of a wait, effort and scraffle with an unhealthy dose of risk and uncertainly. I wouldn't be quick to advice anyone to take that route.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this