Sign in to follow this  
Centurion

2nd Wife (WOMEN only!) poll

Recommended Posts

I'm curious...

 

How would you, 'modern' Somali women react, if your husband told you one night he planned to marry a second wife?

 

What would you do?

 

Feel free to share your thoughts..

 

 

NB

Like i said, women only poll please guys. Although i can understand some of you feel tempted, please do refrain.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sorry sista, but i dont think its time for this type of stuff!

 

have you read or seen any news lately?? its time to think beyond betty things and open your eyes!

 

Dont u have any blood??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lol

I had suspicions you were a complete and utter twit, and you have proven it beyond doubt.

 

A) i'm male

B)I am not about to talk about the situation in

Somalia in this section of the forum

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
xax   

Torturing him before you kill him

Doing something involving a knife, gloves and cutting…

Hunting the other woman down and giving her a home made nip tuck

Cleaning his bank account dry before taking off to another country

Setting his house on fire

Setting him up to go to prison, like you go on holiday to Thailand make sure there is some drugs in his bag!

 

 

Aaah so many ways to destroy a mans life. But of course this all depends on what the couple agree on before they get married.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lool

xax, i was just going to ask Xalimo what else could you possibly do.

 

Something tells me your response is going to be echoed by most or all of the girls.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Aisha   

......if he's a religous man with good reasons, can afford it and will treat us equally, then why not? It's part of the deen. We can't pick what we like and leave what we don't like. I know it's easier said then done but thats the truth. I will try my hardest to accept it knowing that I will be pleasing Allah.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hahahah thats all i have to say, i dont understand why a man would want a second wife for in this day & age as if they can treat them equal gosh.

 

ps i think any woman who values herself regardless the kids or financial ramafications should walk away when her husband demands a second wife or sneaks out and marry another woman, and why should u hate the other woman am sorry its the man's fault in those situations.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ms DD   

Salaam Aleykum

 

I second that Aisha. I may not like it but i should very darn well accept it. The best example walked on earth (pbuh) did it, his companions did it, all the previous prophets (as) did it..who am i to think that i am better than all their wives? Life on earth is a test and it isnt all about smooth sailing. It has its ups and downs. Instead of looking of the negative sides, why dont we focus on the positive side?

 

Let me remind you:

 

Automatic childcare in a sexist society gives women more effective choice to have a career without devaluing the role of homemaker. Being able to marry men who are already married means that women can marry men who have already proved themselves, therefore minimising their risk.

 

Having the possibility that a husband can remarry without divorce extends practical security to a woman. She needn't worry about losing her husband and income as she loses her looks, because if her husband is attracted by a younger woman, he doesn't even have to think about leaving his wife.

 

Polygamy removes the pressure on a husband to commit adultery, and removes damaging deceit from a marriage.

 

Polygamy provides a method where a woman can have a female friend for life as well as a husband.

 

Polygamy therefore provides more people and a better chance of meeting diverse needs.

 

Polygamy provides a potential for at least three adult incomes, reducing state dependence and the fear of unemployment.

 

Controls Placed On Men

If a man wants to have another sexual partner in a polygamous system then he has to meet his responsibilities - pay for any children produced from all his relationships without priority being given to those from a 'legal' relationship. Polygamy removes or reduces the seduction of innocent young women - If a man promises to marry her, he cannot use his existing marriage as an excuse for not fulfilling a promise.

 

Polygamy reduces the number of women who are available. Currently, with more women than men, this 'cheapens' women. With less women available their 'value' goes up. In other words, polygamy makes men have to try harder and do better with women if they are to win them in competition with other men. (By Samuel Chapman)

 

It should be remembered that polygamy is not a compulsory thing nor is it advocated. It is just a permission with certain limitation and conditions. And in some of the circumstances this permission proves extremely useful.

 

For example: If the wife is chronically ill, or is barren, or for some other reasons it is not desirable for the couple to live as husband and wife. The remedy offered by certain societies is to divorce the wife and remarry. But is this justice? Is it kind or noble to turn out a woman in her old or middle age from her home, just because she remains sick or she happens to be barren? Islam discourages such cruelty by permitting polygamy.

 

for more, please read:

 

http://www.ezsoftech.com/omm/polygamy1.asp

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
xax   

I don’t think polygamy was made for anything elaborate other then to provide a husband for Widows who lost their husbands in Jihad. At the prophets time (SCW) where men were continuously fighting, there became a surplus of widowed women. We don’t have to think hard to realize that life for a widow, especially one who was financially dependent on her husband was extremely tough, (it is hard even in today’s world!) And in that context, polygamy is a good thing, a kind act to help ease the suffering of another woman and kids.

This type of polygamy practiced at the time of the prophet (SCW) is very different from the type of polygamy some Somali men follow, where they still think its acceptable to- in effect-cheat on their spouse-i.e.: court another woman, marry her have kids, keep it a secret. So my opinion is, if he wants to marry a widow with kids, whose husband died in a Jihad, then we can talk about it; If he wants to marry a 15 year old teen bride because she’s young and I am (inshallah) old, then that guy needs a bullet between his eyes, or any of the suggestions made in my previous post.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This again? Boring!

 

If a man fancies marrying another woman, or already has, there are only two options open to the woman. To live with it or remove herself from that marriage. Every woman has that choice, regardless of her circumstances.

 

Move on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ibtisam   

^i second that: one says you have to live with it!

Torturing him before you kill him

Doing something involving a knife, gloves and cutting…

Hunting the other woman down and giving her a home made nip tuck

Cleaning his bank account dry before taking off to another country

Setting his house on fire

Setting him up to go to prison, like you go on holiday to Thailand make sure there is some drugs in his bag!

:eek: :eek:

 

Looking at the poll, it is funny that 2women will "send him to his lord" loool.

loool :cool:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
juba   

i agree valenteenah...SOLers have a gift of talking a topic to death...then bringing it back to life and saying the same thing...a vicious cycle lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this