Sign in to follow this  
NGONGE

A Holiday in Somaliland!

Recommended Posts

LOL Nice thread here my answers....

 

Are shorts acceptable and allowed in the country or will I have the police picking me up the minute I step out showing my wobbly knees?

 

We’ve all got basto legs so I wouldn’t worry about it too much, do use sun bloke however and do keep your trousers to knee length no saucy Lycra shorts will be welcome. Not unless you classify having a dagax thrown at your particulars as a warm reception.

 

I have been growing my hair and I think it is now at the right highet to genuinely pass me off as an indigenous Somali. Now, would I have to wear a hat or cumaamad at all times (considering my age and big pot belly) or is headwear not a real requirement in Somaliland?

 

Not really a requirement but do as you please and wear whatever you feel comfortable in, within reason of course. No hippy dreadlocks though

 

What is the rule on talking to passing females?

 

There are no rules speak to whoever you wish, in fact you’ll no doubt receive more propositions then you’ve ever had in your entire life. You’re a walking piece of meat to those ladies over there, correction a walking passport to western paradise so guard your virtue well Youngman or you’ll be sorry.

 

When in restaurants, what is a typical tip one must give to the waiter? I do not want to give too much and appear like a useless tourist or too little and appear like a mean skinflint.

 

You don’t tip, you pay for the food, eat it and the get the hell out without clearing the table. Your even permitted to burp like a beast with trapped wind if you so please.

 

How about food? What foods should my western stomach avoid?

 

Eat everything and anything, most especially try the camel meat, quite a delicious delicacy over there. Though its not delicate but tastes yummy.

 

What about currencies? What is the best one to carry around? Should I be carrying it around to start with? Should I be hiding it in my socks?

 

They use three currencies in Somaliland actually four. 1- Somaliland shillings, 2-Ethiopian Biir, 3- Saudi –Riyaal and 4 American dollars, hell sometimes you get some French franks coming your way from reer jabouti. Don’t bother hiding your wealth in your socks the maid who’s washing them will surely keep it if she finds it. Moral of the story? Wash your own socks.

 

What about passports? Any special thing to do?

 

Nope a western passport should be enough though you have to pay some kind of “bringing you into the country” tax along with your airport ticket Always have a stash of American dollars at the ready you’ll bloody need it..

 

What about wearing watches, rings and shiny things? Are they frowned upon?

 

Watches are classified as “reer magaal” items, the flashier and bulkier the better your station in life.

 

If I run out of toothpaste or break my toothbrush would I be able to replace them easily? Is the cost reasonable or do I have to pay the equivalent of a family saloon?

 

Forget about your smelly western toothbrush, its all about cadey Somali and I guarantee that your teeth will be cleaner and whiter than its ever been before. And no blooming colgate in sight. Though you can buy it from the shops that and Listerine I truly can’t leave with out Listerine. So fresh and so clean, clean. Love the burning sensation in my mouth.

 

How about walking around at night? Is there a curfew on that? Is it considered vulgar and not socially acceptable?

 

Youngsters cruis around Somaliland at all hours of the day and night. It’s perfectly acceptable though without any electricity its hard to see where your going. Especially in Borama when the electricity goes out around 12pm. Dont forget to invest in a torch...works wonders

 

On the issue of bribes at the airport, what is the current going rate?

 

Bribe well, and you’ll be treated like a king. If you know any officials in power like I do? Then the fee is waved.

 

Is it obligatory to take photos of goats? Will my hosts be offended if I refuse to do so?

 

No, lol-picture what you will. Just dont piss of the natives

 

Damn I'm kind of homesick all of a sudden.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
NGONGE   

^^ You did not give an answer about the toilets. Most important one that.

 

Heh@Sheh :D

A perfect thing to start the day with.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cara.   

^The_Siren was pretty thorough in her answers but you couldn't even muster up a polite "thank you". Typical Somali. You'll fit right in :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
NGONGE   

^^ Stop being a dirdiraale. I have already established an understanding with The Siren. I speak to her rudely and she makes me cups of tea. Now don't you go putting ideas in her head about thanks and other nonsense. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
N.O.R.F   

I got myself a hopeless advisor and he is telling me to go to Berbara airport and then take a bus all the way to H town!

I have advised you of how to get to SL saxib. Not my fault you don't know where to get tickets for either Daallo or African Airline even when it's staring you in the face (Stepney)!

 

Carab Africa an arag ya wax usheegi jiray? :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Fabregas   

Bro, get a smooth haircut, buy some sunglasses, wear your best shirt, shiny SHOES; atore iska dig. Make sure when you move people see youR shiny watch and don't forget to rent a big, big, land cruiser. Remember, you are a king of there. As for your questions, it all depends where you go: burco, hargeysa, the countryside, stay in a hotel, relatives home, ETC.

 

 

@siren, bir and sacudi riyal in SL?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ibtisam   

^^^LOOOL @ Carab Africa an arag ya wax usheegi jiray?

 

Burco airport is closed for construction, he has to go Berbara or Hargisa then Burco.

 

Norf, there are two new somali traval agency there now!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
NGONGE   

Ibti and Norf are trying to put me of going to Somaliland becuase they know I will not be taking any photos of goats.

 

I do have a feeling that if I go i am going to expose lots of people. icon_razz.gif

 

Abu D,

That sounds more like it. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cara.   

Ngonge, I also want pictures of goats! Last time I saw them they were bigger than me and I was a little afraid of them. So make sure to stand next to it so I can get a sense of how big they are. Of course if you're very short that might not do any good icon_razz.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Faheema.   

Originally posted by
NGONGE:

^^ You did not give an answer about the toilets. Most important one that.

LoL, just make sure you take one of these with you :D759745.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Emperor   

NG going on a holiday in Somaliland :D ,

 

Waryaa I am only interested in politics ninyaho, I don't care much about how many beautiful girls you saw or have got their contact details, that's for AT...

 

 

Only politics, and bear in mind not all the politicians over there capture the mind but one particular one, a very talented charismatic leader by the name of Faysal the hyena, I demand you secure an interveiw with him and bring back a video clip with full of qoutes and great body language, don't worry about the questions, I & Duke will prepare some great questions for you, simply ask and leave him at the background to answer them all Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this