SCORPION_SISTA Posted January 21, 2009 Ibti, I was more in tuned to the interaction, between the women...I mean I think most of us can find friends like that in our circle and what I liked was how women just air things out rather than just keep it inside...I am surprised you guys found it boring, I thought the dialogues were witty and funny, and made me laugh couple of times. You know I just realized that I talked about men more here online than in real life so don't feel too bad Malika Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted January 21, 2009 SS I think because I cannot relate to it, never been friends with a bunch of women who are all friends. I make friends with individuals, so such group behaviour seemed strange to me. I hate friends all up in my business, who invited them baal. They had a conference about their friend and then drove up to her house, interfering old farts soo maah, friends should be there when you ask and need, not camping outside your house and having meetings about you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted January 21, 2009 Wait are you serious :eek: :eek: Friends are there when you don't even know how to ask for their support...True friendship is a bond that does not go by the code "wait until asked" it is given automatically. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted January 21, 2009 ^^^Waaxas waa too much trouble. I know when I need help and I know when I should ask for help. I'm not an idi*ot. True friendship is knowing your place and keeping your silence till lugu weyediyo. That is being supportive. Given automatically is like you mum and dad or whoever in your family who insist on stick their nose in when you get in trouble Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted January 21, 2009 lol every time I suggest some effort you say it's too much work or trouble ...To me personally your way sounds harsher but I have learned over the years not everyone has the same expectation of friendship Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted January 21, 2009 It is not harsh, just more anti social I don't make decisions in groups, nor do I need approval or check or discuss anything friend, waxxan toona aya sameye, then I tell them some months after the fact, If I mess up, oh well I start again. I think that’s why I get on better with men. Yeah people do have different expectation of friends. I don't mind listening or giving feed back if I am asked. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted January 21, 2009 I don't think sharing with friends and having friends discuss things with you in terms means you make your decision in a group...You friends can make suggestions and share their own personal experiences but in the end of the day you make decision about your life on your own. I think true friends push you toward your potential best self and I think that's one benefit of being a woman. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted January 22, 2009 ^Dont mind us dear,the anti socials , In all honest,there is nothing so valuable then the bonds I have with my few friends.There is something special about our sisterhood,despite our individualism,which is shaped by our different life experiences,goals and talents etc.Yet we are there supporting each other in our daily trials,joys etc, where would I be without my co-mothers,advisors,beauty consultants,etc. Godbless them! Ibti,I have banned my friend from talking to me about her farax for a month.. [Am just jealous of her, I dont have a farax that is so annoying and whom consumes so much of my time] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted January 22, 2009 ^^^I doubt you would want that, knowing you, you would get bored and be like Waar niiku shaaqalaan baadaan, maax naa soo hoortakey all the time, It is the first signs of obsessive behavior you- tell her to be careful SS: I like knowing that only me and me have had an input into a decision I've made, and take responsibility for it. Imagine if you got talked into doing something and when it all fails you realise you should not have been doing the said thing to start with. I often observe sisters when they are in a group and they react differently to when you corner them alone, I always think they are more contractive and less emotional and more logically processing information. When they are in a group weye iisu buubuuniyaan. Once there were some ladies in my house, one of them mentioned that her husband was acting up slightly, they told her so many stories about ones who started acting up a little strange and then did some madness, that by the time the lady left my house, I was sure she was going to storm in, infuriated about all the possibilities they offered and start a huge fight. I don’t know what happened after she left my house. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted January 22, 2009 Good morning ladies and I hope everyone is doing well today. Malika, you are absolutely right and God bless them . Ibti, Ah an strong attempt to hold to our own sense of absolute control over our decisions in life…Things aren’t so clear cut, I mean even if you were not to share things with your friends, your decision is still influenced by other people…And once you make a decision and act on it , you really took responsibility for it, regardless of who influenced you directly to make that decision…As to the woman in the story, honestly she was already suspicious of her husband strange behavior, and what those women did for her with their stories was just speed up her facing that suspicious and taking action…Maybe if she didn’t say anything, she was continued to monitor him, because her instinct as a woman told her something was up, but was afraid to rock the boat and let that suspicion continue to eat away at her…Her chit chat with the ladies merely made her face it and once that happened that husband was going to be stormed in on…I say ye have faith in yourself ibtisam . When I was a child, probably about 7 or 8, my uncle asked me if I wanted to see gold and being the kid I was I said hell yeah (not those exact words)…He told me to hold one my hands up and make a fist and right there on the top bone that sticks out he began rubbing it…Almost close to an hour, and me sitting there patiently, my uncle got tired and stopped so I was like where is the gold…And he held up my hand and where the skin used to be now all I saw was white piece of skin…He held it up and said “there can’t you see the shimmer!!”…4 years ago I reminded him of the story and he was like wow I thought you had forgotten about it and I was like nah but what I wanted to know was the purpose of it…You know what he said he wanted to teach me to never trust anyone…Looking back in life I guess I never took to the lesson but can’t help feel I walked away with a much valuable lesson. Oh god I hope I didn’t sound like I was lecturing I do so hate to sound like that :mad: …Bee bye, SS Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chocolate and Honey Posted January 22, 2009 hey, Scorp! How you doing sis. Did I tell you that you remind me of my dear friend in the sense of the intelligence and the sheer open-mindedness you so Oh possess You know what he said he wanted to teach me to never trust anyone… I wish someone taught me that Growing up I was quite the naive type, so innocent and so full of trust. Who am I kidding? I still am! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ibtisam Posted January 22, 2009 ^^^LOOL It is not good to be paranoid and suspicious either. If you don't trust and think the best of people you will find fault with everyone. Don't be sad about it. LOOL @ SS, I guess it is just not in my nature, I think it depends on your childhood, I was a lone child and use to keep everything to myself, play by myself, go out by myself, I'm still largely the same . As for the lady, I think she was doing on her own, she had a little plan that she was going to spy on him and find some facts, by the time they talked her up, it did not matter that she had no evidence and was just going to sound like an emotional paranoid women. He probably just laughed at her, and her family told her bring the proof or keep your husband. Now he knows she is watching him and will be careful. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted January 22, 2009 C&H, how have you been lately and what's new with you?...Me as you can see just chit chatting with the ladies of SOL and just having a good day...Everything else is well...Now since I remind you of her then in term I am your dear friend as well ...You know couple of days ago I was reading a response of yours in cheating topic I think, where you mentioned the uncle of your future hubby cheating, and I thought how you are surrounded by these people with wild stories...Made me smile which in my book is a good thing And C&H nothing wrong with having a trusting nature . Ibti, maybe that's why I shared that childhood story, I felt your behavior might be seeped in your childhood but didn't want to just seem like I was generalizing...Interesting you mentioned spying, because couple of days ago, I was thinking if I was to settle down I should let my husband know I intend to spy on him maybe occasionally or all the time (don't want to tell him the specific) but I tell you that would be a fun exercise. You know what I have always thought in another life I might have been something like La Femme Nikita or Xena warrior princess, because espionage and just kicking *** makes my heart pound mad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faheema. Posted January 22, 2009 LooL, walee wakhti iyo energy baa ku dhan those who spy on others. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SCORPION_SISTA Posted January 22, 2009 Ah Faheema one of the other regular responder in this topic WELCOME BACK ...I watch too much cop shows, always investigating and looking for the clues, even my pops was like you going to become a cop!! ...Maybe I am just going to be those wacky older woman you see around, but let me tell you, there are cool spy techno (very basic kind) like glasses that act as a video camera just something to have around...You never know when you might need it. You know what maybe we should a monthly book club here!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
