Abdillahi

Clan linage question

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I am pure Somali. But I have a question that has bugged me for years. My farther is Isaaq (Habr Awel sub clan essa musa) and my mother is Darood (sub clan Dulbahunta). Their marriage collapsed. My cousins are pure isaaq and treated me at a distance. They never spoke about clan politics to me. But I knew enough to know there is some difference. 

 

Ok. My question is a Somali males linage come from his farther or not? I have asked my mother but I don't really believe her because her Isaaq in-laws treated her bad. Where do i stand in this society then? Or are they just bad people who happen to be Somali and clans are not that much of a big deal as my farther and mother are from two different clans and did get married. The hate can't be that deep for two people to get married. There was never a family counsel meeting to discuss my parents marriage. I would like some feed back.

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Haatu   

The lineage follows the father. As for why your relatives treat you different then that's a family issue, not a Somali wide thing.

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10 hours ago, Haatu said:

The lineage follows the father. As for why your relatives treat you different then that's a family issue, not a Somali wide thing.

That what I was told. So I am isaaq like my cousin's but not inbreed like them. I believe when the civil war started  in 1988 my parents marriage started to break up but they stayed together for 15 years until 2002. But I don't know if they hated each other based on clan or they were just a group of assholes that I grew up with that hated me because I was a city boy and they came from the bush. 

I don't feel isaaq and I have no feelings towards Somaliland and it's people they are alien to me. My memories were growing up in Mogadishu and playing on sands and swimming in the Indian ocean. I was 4 years old when we left in 1988. 

The whole experience with them made me hate being Somali. I believe my experience was an authentic look into Somali cultural life, which also explains why the country descended into anarchy, and never experienced a more positive look into Somali behaviour.

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Apophis   
14 hours ago, Abdillahi said:

That what I was told. So I am isaaq like my cousin's but not inbreed like them. I believe when the civil war started  in 1988 my parents marriage started to break up but they stayed together for 15 years until 2002. But I don't know if they hated each other based on clan or they were just a group of assholes that I grew up with that hated me because I was a city boy and they came from the bush. 

I don't feel isaaq and I have no feelings towards Somaliland and it's people they are alien to me. My memories were growing up in Mogadishu and playing on sands and swimming in the Indian ocean. I was 4 years old when we left in 1988. 

The whole experience with them made me hate being Somali. I believe my experience was an authentic look into Somali cultural life, which also explains why the country descended into anarchy, and never experienced a more positive look into Somali behaviour.

Your problem is you grew up in Europe ( possibly one of the scandinavian countries, definitly not the UK) and you have imbibed that culture.

I always found Somalis who grew up in Europe (mainland) somewhat “off” compared to Somalis from UK, Canada and America.

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On 7/9/2019 at 1:51 AM, Abdillahi said:

I am pure Somali. But I have a question that has bugged me for years. My farther is Isaaq (Habr Awel sub clan essa musa) and my mother is Darood (sub clan Dulbahunta). Their marriage collapsed. My cousins are pure isaaq and treated me at a distance. They never spoke about clan politics to me. But I knew enough to know there is some difference. 

 

Ok. My question is a Somali males linage come from his farther or not? I have asked my mother but I don't really believe her because her Isaaq in-laws treated her bad. Where do i stand in this society then? Or are they just bad people who happen to be Somali and clans are not that much of a big deal as my farther and mother are from two different clans and did get married. The hate can't be that deep for two people to get married. There was never a family counsel meeting to discuss my parents marriage. I would like some feed back.

Forget about clans. You have a family issue not a clan issue. Sort out your family issue first, i.e. reconnect with both sides of your family. 

Stop worrying about what happened yesterday, focus on what you can do today to make your tomorrow better and fullfilling. 

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Tallaabo   

Politics and family are two separate things. Work on your family relationships and forget about politics as Suldaan advised. It is the health of your relationship with your family members on both sides which will be examined by Almighty Allah on the Day of Judgement. 

 

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Agree with above, you have family issue not clan.

Be a good person, African, SOMali, that should be your identity. Clan was useful in Africa as it is insurance. 

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10 hours ago, Apophis said:

Your problem is you grew up in Europe ( possibly one of the scandinavian countries, definitly not the UK) and you have imbibed that culture.

I always found Somalis who grew up in Europe (mainland) somewhat “off” compared to Somalis from UK, Canada and America.

I grew up in the UK. Educated since the age of 4. I don't know what you mean by "off".

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8 hours ago, Tallaabo said:

Politics and family are two separate things. Work on your family relationships and forget about politics as Suldaan advised. It is the health of your relationship with your family members on both sides which will be examined by Almighty Allah on the Day of Judgement. 

 

I disagree politics and family are the same thing. Which is why my parents marriage suffered deeply as the civil war intensified. My farther's Isaaq kin egged him on to divorce my mother (Darood). If the primary motivating factor is not Clan politics then what else can it be? My mother told me once that the Isaaq have deep hatred for other somalis and habor racism against other clans. This make more sense to me as I have visited Somaliland and the energy is filled with clanism. I was never treated as part of the larger family but me and my siblings as competitors. I ask this question because i cannot be the only one to have experience this. Otherwise Somalia would be a failed state.

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10 hours ago, Suldaanka said:

Forget about clans. You have a family issue not a clan issue. Sort out your family issue first, i.e. reconnect with both sides of your family. 

Stop worrying about what happened yesterday, focus on what you can do today to make your tomorrow better and fullfilling. 

They say that most Somalis would rather shift the issue than tackle the problem. This mentally is bedrock of Somalis deep seated psychosis. I cannot reconnect with them as they do not want contact and have made it clear.

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Tallaabo   
On 7/10/2019 at 9:40 AM, Abdillahi said:

I disagree politics and family are the same thing. Which is why my parents marriage suffered deeply as the civil war intensified. My farther's Isaaq kin egged him on to divorce my mother (Darood). If the primary motivating factor is not Clan politics then what else can it be? My mother told me once that the Isaaq have deep hatred for other somalis and habor racism against other clans. This make more sense to me as I have visited Somaliland and the energy is filled with clanism. I was never treated as part of the larger family but me and my siblings as competitors. I ask this question because i cannot be the only one to have experience this. Otherwise Somalia would be a failed state.

This is a problem unique to your family because things like this don't happen often to the rest of the society. I hail from a region where intermarriage between the Duriyada clan and the D block is not only the norm but seems to be the rule so I know yours is not a society wide problem. 

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32 minutes ago, Tallaabo said:

This is a problem unique to your family because things like this don't happen often to the rest of the society. I hail from a region where intermarriage between the Duriyada clan and the D block is not only the norm but seems to be the rule so I know yours is not a society wide problem. 

you are lying. The Somali single mother epidemic is a well known problem. The reason for these marriages collapsing and no family mediation to resolve the matter points to the fact "if I can get away with it i will do it" attitude in Somali culture. This culture is a big problem inside Somali family homes. This is one of the many secrets in this "culture".

Somalis are inhumane to anyone not of their clan. This is well documented.

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