All the things I forgot to do;

[Ibtisam]

Putting things off is my specialty, and in time I forget that which I have put off all together- that is until someone reminds me where or what I could’ve been. Then I am consumed with ciil iyo frustration about all that I wanted to do and all that I missed or forgot to do. To make myself feel better, I pretend that I no longer want to do those things, that I have grown out of that idea or that I am fortunate to have done this, that or the other. Last night I got an e-mail from an old friend of mine, who five years ago we parted company on the step of university, he dropped out to pursue what, at the time seemed like a hopeless dream, I reasoned that I was going to finish university and do the rational thing.

 

For a few months I worried and wondered about him, but soon enough and as usual I forgot about him and his project all together for a while. I dismissed him as the idealist who went looking for diamonds in the dust. Once in a while he will send a quirky e-mail from one corner of the earth with his adventures, last I heard he was in Gambia working to pay for his next leg in his travels. Sometimes last month, I was watching a documentary on TV there was a 2min clip on Gambia, which reminds me of him, I wonder where he got to, if he survived and what become of him, but as always I forget to follow that thought with an e-mail.

 

Nevertheless last night I was sitting on my bed, trying to make heads or tails out of my psycho blackberry which keeps “wiping” all data and baqtiis on me randomly, when it vibrated me out of my dreams and altered me to the arrival of an e-mail. Despite all its technological advancement, the screen is far too small to show the content and sender all at once. So I read the e-mail without knowing who sent it, after scrolling up and down umpteen times, the lengthy e-mail made sense to me. Having concluded that it was not another e-mail from my Nigerian spammers, who on daily basis e-mail me one promise after another, I sat there lost in thought. The content went along the lines of

 

SalamAlikum,

I hope you are in the best of health and iman my dearest sister, are you still alive, where/ how have you been. I have so many things to tell you!

 

I’m good alhumdulilah, life is great!!!, I did it, can you believe it?? I did it and it worked out

 

My parents came to stay with me for the last week (my mum asked about you, which reminded me to update you) mother says hello btw. Guess where I am? Never mind, you never will guess! Lol.

 

How did all that university go? Are you still a nerd?

 

I’m coming to the UK next month for my brothers wedding, I’ll only be there for one week, meet me on the 28th and I can fill you in.

 

Suddenly I remembered all the places I planned to visit before I get old or tied down to kids iyo building house for reer hebel. I was bitterly disappointed that on my long list of places to visit I’ve only managed to cover two places- and so much of life already gone. Then I was annoyed that life is passing me by while I sit around waiting on others, relatives, family, friends, banks, bosses, I spend more time waiting on things than actually doing anything. I am always waiting for something, a phone call, an e-mail, a confirmation! I had a vision of me in 30yrs, nearly dead, still waiting and putting off what I want to do because of something or another, and worse still forgetting about what I wanted to do all together.

 

I went into the sitting room and started a conversation along these lines with a Hindi;

 

Me: so and so e-mailed me, he is doing what he said he would, and he has travelled half of the world, seems happy too.

Hindi: Hmmm, mashallah good for him

Me: Yeah but it is making me think of all that I wanted to do and didn’t

Hindi: Are you not happy?

Me: I did not say that, I am just saying I wish I did stuff

Hindi: So you are happy?

Me: what?

Hindi: If you are happy, then it does not matter what others are doing, but if you are telling me you are unhappy then just say so. *puts on glasses and turns the TV off*

Me: in my head *Errrg, waxan waalan, maskax beelahan* Never mind. *start to walk off*

Hindi: No, no we are going to discuss this, where are you going.

Me: No we are not; from now on I am going to be less patient, I don’t care and I am going to do what I want, when I want.

Hindi: How is that any different to what you always do anyway? *switches TV back on*

Me: in my head * qudun iyo qashabiir waxiid* you wait and see.

 

So I know it is not new year or brithday or anything, but from now on my vows are: Do everything, all the time, every time.

 

I cannot get over how fast time is going by and it is making me sad.

 

So nomads; what about all the things you forgot to do? eh

[Chocolate and Honey]

So nomads; what about all the things you forgot to do? eh

@the convo with the husband. At any given day, I feel the same way. I feel like I'm letting time pass me by. When I was younger, I had a long list of things to do from traveling everywhere to volunteering at shelters, learning centers, to going for multiple degrees, to owning bussinesses.But now I'm not even 30 yet I feel like I've lived a long, tedious life full of demanding family, bosses and deadlines . I tried the "I will do whatever I want" thing for a while, but it just made me look irresponsible and the people in my life where in utter shock. It just felt silly.

Maybe you need to make the "MUST" list and work from there.

[Juxa]

you two need to take 6 months out and live your life a bit.

 

waa xay shalaygan? hush hush

 

as for me i lived, waxa kaliya iidhiman waa inan tusbax qaato and get ready for things to come insha allah.

[Rayyan]

^^ lol tusbax iyo wayso iyo masalle. waxaad leedahay hablahana - enjoy life, kick the heels and enchant, see the rainbow miya, and the live the life to the full.

[N.O.R.F]

I don't get people who plan to go to X number of place before they settle down. Can't you do it when married? Ibti, the guy is probably in a heap of debt and will next ask for a handout

[Kulmiye]

Nice stuff sister.

 

In high school I did track and cross-country as part of my after school curriculum. I Manage to travel view places within the state and occasionally outside the state, but the experience at least gave me the chance to enjoyed my youth with no bills and no strings attached. It further took me away from the thug life that imprisoned most of my school mates. As i went off to University I only manage to get a academic scholarship. There i found myself in school activities and taking part of summer youth leadership programs which give me the oppertunity to serve as role-model in the shallow corners of my youth. But lately my time is a fragment- in fact there is rarely a social moment, all my freedom is now a nick of school assignments and "lacag ka dabba carar." Soon to be 25, and out of school in 2010- I'm ready to invest my time in the liberation of my people from the illness of clansmen, savages, and the devils they worship. i'm ready to be humanitarian to the african struggle:)

 

K. Nomad

[BUKURR]

^ Great, soon to be 25 too and am tired of the amount of "mental" responsibilities that I have to manage.

[STOIC]

I wish I had a snake oil to sell it to all the confused single twenty somethings out there.. ...I found out As you grow older your priorities change..no longer are you living in wishful life...You take everyday as it comes!

[Che -Guevara]

^Stoic-Oh God, is this what happens when one gets married.

[STOIC]

^ No comment...

[Ibtisam]

At the responses.

 

C&H, I think I want to try the selfish phase, but I need to move to the end of the earth first, otherwise they will think Jiin baa ii galey and I'd have Quran read on me

 

Juxa! loool, I just might you know. Well done to you lady!

 

North: Looool @ He wants money- now that I know is not true, the thing he did is just money on a platter. Either way I won't be here on that data, so no. As for going around with your other half; I don't know if I can be bothered and I want to do my own stuff for me and not have to discuss iyo consider someone else input, that is why I don't take group holidays.

 

Kulimiye; lol A dream indeed, I wish you luck brother, you are going to need it in African development, also some strong painkillers and anti-depressant, and a lot of your own money.

 

Stoic: Oh my, North there is your answer about going travelling with your partner- look at this prime example and he is newly wed too!!!

[Valenteenah.]

Originally posted by STOIC:

I wish I had a snake oil to sell it to all the confused single twenty somethings out there.. ...I found out As you grow older your priorities change..no longer are you living in wishful life...You take everyday as it comes!

Goodness me, that's just depressing, Stoic.

 

 

Ibti, sounds like an attack of the quarter-life crisis. I second Juxa, take time off and smell the coffee, the roses and the weed.

 

Disclaimer - I am not in any way encouraging the use of recreational addictive substances.

[-Lily-]

Ibti dear, travelling is the new cool and has been for some years now. Firstly, if you are waiting for me to tell you some sort of hippy-babble talk of just-drop-everything, just fly away etc. you may as well stop reading now .

 

If you can go, and you just need a little boldness, go for it. If not patience will keep you sane. If you are honest with yourself you will find there are very good reasons you chose the path you did, eg. going to uni.

 

There is this feeling that all of life’s excitement & pleasures must be had and done with, in your case, all the travels completed before your 25th birthday. Come on, all of life should be one big excitement and one should have great things to look forward to throughout their lives. You make it sound like its youth, travel, excitement, marriage then a long pause, then death, Acudibillahi. This idea that certain things are tied to certain ages is absurd. Who says you will be able to enjoy a sunset more at 25 than 32 or 58? Yes you may die tmwr, that's just too bad. So maybe you can’t take off a year and travel the world, but perhaps you can do two big trips/experiences each year and tick of your list?

 

Very few Somali men and women are free of heavy responsibility. Most are burdened down by duty, a lot of hopes rest on each and every one of us, unlike our native counterparts. You must somehow, on your own terms achieve your personal hopes and aspirations along with this. It’s also best done without trying to compare yourself with others.

 

So Ibti, what’s done is done. If you can take some time off to do what you long for, by all means go for it, if you can’t at the moment don’t beat yourself up over it. Take action & plan for it, plans keeps dreams alive. This is idealism in a realistic way. Since I know you, for what it’s worth, you’re doing exciting, impressive things as it is. In any case, it’s not a bad thing to be aware of one’s own mortality, life becomes more urgent, more precious.

 

I have not yet done even a fraction of the amount of travelling I would like to, and I really value travel, but it doesn’t worry me at all, as I am quiet certain, with God’s help I’A, that I will get it done in the very near future. For me personally, there are bolder dreams to be chased at the moment and travelling is a thing to be done along-side them.

 

Val, no wonder there is such a thing as a quarter life crisis to begin with! There is a lot of pressure on young people these days, graduate, travel, be hip, be an eco-warrior, get a great job in the city, party away or be seen as a lively person, get married to a stunning, hugely successful man/woman with perfect teeth, have a great home, beautiful 2.5 kids (of which one at least should be a genius), drive a great car, look glamorous & fit, always be perfectly dressed, take weekend trips to Europe and blast the photos on FaceBook. So much nonesense bombarded to us until one forgets what they really wanted or what they were told they want.

[Juxa]

^^marry a man with great teeth

 

i think it is our own approach to life that is causing such anxiety and cumri-dag-dag crises.

 

travelling is great specially when you have ££££ in your pocket. marka it can be done anytime before qabriga lagu galin.

 

i am yet to understand why life stops after marriage, perhaps it is the fact men ask oo maxay dooneysaa sow xaas maaha! very demoralising indeed. but nothing to stop you book that fab holiday and expedition by yourself.

 

remember a woman with lacag is XUR. so ladies make it happen for yourself

 

ibti i really dont see what is missing! your life seems peachy to me, i never seen you wasting time either marka mar cirkaad soo dhici intan kabadan

[Abtigiis]

ninyahow ma aniga si kale u qaatay mise Juxa cadceeda ayey madaxa ku sidataa!! How many times did I see her talking about $$$$.