helo my fellow nomads,,greeting to you all and hope all is well. i hope you like this few jokes that a friend forwarded to me Corporate Lesson 1 > > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up quickly,wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, > Bob says, > "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." > After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" > Management Lesson: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. > Corporate Lesson 2 A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car,he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Psalm 129." The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Psalm 129." Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It read, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." > Management Lesson: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity > Corporate Lesson 3 A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an Endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone."OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,"I want those two back in the office after lunch." >Management Lesson: Always let your boss have the first say. > Corporate Lesson 4 > A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. > Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

hi nomads this is kind of true story, i cant confirm it though. here it goes a middle aged somali busineesman walked into his bank for a cash withdrawal,,,the window clark replied that they dont have enough cash today and he should come back tommorow (typical of some of the african banks,,) the man decided to comeback next day and he was told the same. after a couple of weeks the businessman made a deposit and before he left another gentleman was making a cash withdrawal and he was given some of the money the businessman deposited and the businessman screamed loud and cursed saying that,,no wonder you dont have my money when i need it, you have been giving my money to other pple. well it seems the businessman never understood the circulation of currency in a bank, what he thinks is that whatever he deposits will be siting somewhere untill he needs it,,loool

loooooooooooooool,, guys i realy liked all your jokes,,they are all funny

helo my fellow nomads damn, sounds painfull what the poor guy is going through. for one he realized eventhough denying (i am not sure how much truth to it either) that he is not the real father and second he might not be allowed to bring the child to him. well, i hope this wont open doubts to other pples minds and i hope the kid comes over whatever the case is happy new year to you all

thakns flisaany, i kenw i cuold cunot on yuo. its good to be bcak. bee bye

hi everyone. just wanted to share this with you. its kind of amazing. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. realy amzanig huh macasalaam

hi nomads. i know we all have our thoughts get lost somewhere else during the month of ramadaan. others wish they were with their families,friends or favorite cities. myself i miss back home listening to the drum beats from the old guy who wakes pple up during suxuur. also the smell of iftar from neigbours lol , and not to mention the anticipation of idd day, thinking of what your parents will buy you. it just had unique feeling so, where would you like to spend this month of ramadaan. its your turn

hello my fellow nomads. assalaamu calaaycum and ramadan kariim. how about this if mr kanti can tie a tie why cant i tie a tie like mr kanti tied the tie maca salaaam

hi my fellow nomads. its been a while and feels good to be back. well, well. what do we have here. my brother MMA i have to disagree with you on your few bullets about somali. islam does'nt belong to one sociaty and its shared by all kind of sociaties. what would u have a called a chinese who is muslim, will he/she be a chinese without a trouser,,not realy. triblistic labeling is a way of locating your origin it does'nt have anything to do with religion. as a friend of mine mentioned to me a while ago, culture "daqan" does'nt exist in a muslim person. the way we get married, how we behave arround elders,table manners, how we should treat our neighbours, how we should sleep, they way of eating our food,,etc are all mentioned in the holy guran. so, i dont think culture exists but we live the way we have been told by the quran-karim. a muslim is who accepts and recites the shahaada. if a muslim does what allah forbid us, then thats between him/her and allah. its not safe for any person to label another muslim that they are not muslim for what they did on the other hand. i myself was born and raised in a diferent country and u want to deny me to call myself somali if i dont speak or write somali. well, my dad and mom are both somali and that makes me somali too(thats my origin) well my apology if i misundrstood anyone i could have added more but i dont want to bore you guys. hope u understand what i meant thats my 2 cents as my sis scorpion likes to say

how have u been my fellow nomads. its been a while since i posted anything here. its good to be back. this is a story of an english journalist who visited afganistan, jailed and released later empresed islam. its quite interesting, please read thanks. i retreaved this article from www.arabnews.com Sunday, 27, July, 2003 (28, Jumada al-Ula, 1424) Mail Article | Print Article | Comment on Article A Transforming Journey Roger Harrison • Arab News Staff Some weeks previously, Yvonne Ridley was chief reporter for the Sunday Express in London. Like hundreds of other journalists, she was tying to get to New York to cover the events following the events following Sept. 11. While in the airport scrimmage for seats, she received a call from the news editor telling her to get to Pakistan. A journalist for more than 25 years, she was one of the first into Pakistan to cover the impending attack on Afghanistan. “There were thousands of us, all being spoon-fed with information. I got fed up with it, and decided to see if I could get into Afghanistan.” She applied many times to the Taleban embassy, but to no avail. “Western journalists were persona non grata.” Yvonne found two guides and, adopting the cover-all burqa, slipped into Afghanistan as part of a wedding party. “I was totally anonymous — I simply disappeared from view because I looked and was perceived exactly the same as all the other women in burqas.” She spent days speaking to whomever she could, always aware that the slightest hint could give her away. When she decided to head back to the border, the trio joined a party heading that way. That meant that Yvonne had walked a great deal in the unaccustomed Afghani sandals she wore as part of her disguise, and her feet were badly cut and bruised. “We managed to obtain the use of a decrepit donkey,” she said. The donkey bolted and Yvonne, in a desperate attempt to stay aboard, grabbed the halter. The camera that she had been carefully concealing under her burqa swung into full view, exactly at the moment that a Taleban soldier was passing. “At this stage they seemed rather more concerned with the relationship between my guides and I than the fact I might be a spy,” she said. The party she was traveling with continued to move toward the border. She kept moving with them but looked back to establish the fate of her guides. “There was a large crowd gathering and it looked as if trouble was brewing. I felt I had to go back.” Walking into the center of the group, she brought the proceedings to a halt by imperiously throwing off her burqa and demanding, “Give me the darn camera back.” She and her companions were arrested and hauled off to the local men’s prison, where they were separated. “I did see my companions after that,” she said, “and they did look as if they had been roughed up.” Her first reaction was to go on hunger strike because she was refused a telephone call. “I was never physically maltreated. They tried to break me mentally by constantly asking the same questions day after day — until nine o’clock in the evening sometimes.” Her captors constantly told her that she would be released — only to move her to another cell. It was five days before Mullah Omar was told that the suspected spy was a woman. He at once ordered her removal to what was by local standards a comfortable room in a women’s prison. “I was detained in the company of six Christian aid workers from Shelter Now International, who had been accused of trying to convert the local people to Christianity. They were certainly very religious — and the Taleban were quite comfortable about allowing them a bible and for them to perform their religious observances in captivity.” Yvonne found out from her captors that they had chosen — albeit unwittingly — to set up their headquarters next door to one of Osama Bin Laden’s residences. “I have this delicious image of Bin Laden sitting in the garden plotting, with the sounds of happy-clappy Baptist hymns wafting over the wall.” Yvonne was interrogated for days as an American spy — unaware that her captors were in possession of a file that alleged that she was in the pay of Mossad, amongst others. “On one occasion, I lost my temper and spat and swore at my captors while I was being held in Kabul prison.” The reaction of her captors rather surprised her. “Instead of a hostile reaction they looked reproved and slightly hurt; they insisted I was their guest and their ‘sister.’” The attack by America and Britain on Afghanistan was immanent, and the file in the possession of Mullah Omar could well have been Yvonne’s death certificate. “I feel I was set up. The attack needed a trigger. A dead English woman executed by the Taleban regime would have been very useful. It was a crude device and I suspect that the CIA were behind it.” While she was in captivity, she was asked what she thought of Islam. “I gave a non-committal reply — I had no real knowledge of it. I promised I would study the Qur’an.” The bombing of Kabul began while Yvonne was still in captivity. Two days later she was released. “I was quite sure that the one-eyed Mullah had put two fingers up to the world. He saw the file as a transparent provocation and was not buying it,” said Yvonne. “On the whole, the Taleban treated me with great courtesy and respect. I had entered their country illegally — I was totally in the wrong and I could have been put on trial.” When she arrived in Britain, the experience in Kabul had a subtle effect on her. “I decided to look at Islam in the interests of academic enquiry and was given an English Qur’an by a Muslim friend.” Over the next few months she began to learn more about Islam. “The first thing I scrutinized when I read the Qur’an closely was the law as it relates to property and divorce.” Cheerfully admitting to having been married three times, she was particularly drawn to the way that the Qur’an dealt with what so often is a contentious issue. Yvonne couldn’t put her finger on any single thing that decided her to embrace Islam. “I spoke to more and more people and became more involved. The way that that the faith treats women as exact spiritual and human equals in worth I found very sustaining,” she said. “It just felt right.” Whilst the Taleban treated Yvonne — “probably their most difficult prisoner” — with some decency, it doesn’t lessen her desire to question them on their more general behavior. “I would really like to sit down with Mullah Omar, who ordered my release on humanitarian grounds. I would want to know why they treat their women so badly.” Recently, an opportunity to work in the Gulf with a web-based news organization presented itself. “I decided to take the chance and go,” she said. “A couple of days before the flight, I made the decision to say the shahada, and called a couple of close friends as witnesses. It was an intensely spiritual moment and very intimate. The feeling after I had spoken the words was one of community with the biggest club in the world. It was exhilarating.” Yvonne has been accused of suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, first described in 1973 when a bond of sympathy was observed developing between hostage takers and their victims. “It always raises a wry smile with me. The only people I really bonded with, and keep in touch with on an occasional basis, are the girls from Shelter Now International, the ones accused of trying to convert Muslims to Christianity. So if that was the case, I should be in America’s bible belt now with my tambourine!” Reflecting on her behavior when held by the Taleban, she said, “I don’t think cursing, spitting and refusing to eat endeared me to those poor men who had to put up with my bad behavior. In fact, when I was released, I don’t know who was happier — them or me.” Now the undercover journalist has exchanged the burqah as a disguise for the hijab as a symbol of a new freedom.

hi my nomads,,its good to be back. looking forward to do our thing once again a lady ran to her house after winning a lottery and shouted to her man as she entered the house "pack your bags,pack your bags,i won a lottery" and the man responded,,"what kind of clothes should i pack honey,,summer clothes or other clothes and she replied back,,i dont care,just pack your bag and get the hell out of here,,lol are ladies that mean,,lol,,just playing

hi my nomads,,its been a while well, i dont see why pple clasify and discriminate one another. not to mention that pple will agree to marry a non muslim by birth who changed their faith later. what about the one who shared same religion,culture, history,etc with you. be the one who follows the teachings of allah (swt) and dont base your life to those who ignored the right path thats my two cents WIIL-WAAL//A TRUE NOMAD

hi nomads, well, malaika. that says it all,,you have'nt met me yet aight, just kidding,,there are cool brothers out there,,maybe u had your sunglasses on, try to de-fog them later

hi nomads well, it seems everyone did put some nice inputs on this topic and i dont mind adding mine i agree with you all, there are many reasons why our pple are not fond of persuing their education. it does not mean that we are not smart, but i think it has something to do with the foundation we were brought back at home. remember most of the schools there were never taught in english. most of them were arabic, italian and somali so, many pple find it difficult to keep up with the system in the western countries and maybe they thought that they are old to go back and start from the begining and i dont blame them coz they might have other priorities. i beleive that children who were born here might have different approach and opportunities i know we dont gain knowledge only in english language, but you will agree with me that its the dominant one. we are also not the only ones who is faced by this issue, there are other immigrants too (asian,indian,spanish,,etc) but remember, it does not mean that u cant be successfull without education. there are many pple out there with millions of dollers and they are not educated, so dont be discouraged about life without education good luck

helo all loooool, that was realy funny. i feel sorry for the poor guy

hi nomads -a man lost his credit card and his friend asked why he did not report it -the man replied, that the thief is spending less than his wife,,lol you know what that means guys,,,HIDE YOUR CREDIT CARRRRRRRRRD,..lol

hi nomads well,,well,well. it seems our scorpion sis is trying to catch our attention this days. on her first story i almost thought of changing my forum name to camaal(the guy in the first story),,ofcourse i was intrigued by the story maybe i have to go shopping for some pudding, oh no,,i remember that i have no one to feed me :mad: ,,lol well, sis keep it coming

helo nomads,, damn,,,damn,,damn,,am i allowed to say 4 times,,,ok damn. you moved me girl or should i say stoned me. i was glued to the screen untill i realized that i was not dreaming, but it was my buddies shadow scorpion sis, you have been waiting and just played cool untill now ha. well its good to know your romantic side,,lol thats what i call,,,,u figure out

helo lughter lover nomads here is another blond jokes A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game, he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents." "What on earth do you mean???" "Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it, and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!" later guys

nice topic,, well like the rest before me said, it depends on the setuation. if there is some attraction from either side, then that person will be willing to take to the next level and guess what if you say lets keep it friends,,thats the end of the story on the other hand, if both sexes keep it real then yes they can be friends. which i might also add if either of them gets married, then expect changes thats my two cents no,,no,,no i am not speaking from experience,,lol

hi all good, topic,,, but i was told its not true,,i am still doing some more research,,please do the same

hi all ofcourse, its better to be rich to love or to be loved (very tricky)

hi all its good to see that you guys representing your schools, well i graduated two yrs ago fro DeVrY University, mojored in "Electronics Engineering" incase some of you are wondering why i have the funny suits from work at the community,, keep your heads up

hi all its good to see that you guys representing your schools, well i graduated two yrs ago fro DeVrY University, mojored in "Electronics Engineering" incase some of you are wondering why i have the funny suits from work at the community,, keep your heads up

hi all i know its not nice to have too many rules on some issues, but i prefer calling them guidelines for me, i prefer to date =someone who tells the truth from the begining =someone who is easy to be arround,,no suuraaaaa =no fake faces,,,be yourself i almost forgot,,some one with $$$$,ok just kiding,but it wont hurt