Quman

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Posts posted by Quman


  1. Brain Cells?

    Author: Quman..... :cool:

    All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which,

    over nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The

    problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little

    chromosomes to make a male baby instead.

     

    Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cells

    necessary to develop a male's reproductive organs have to come

    from cells already assigned elsewhere in the female. Recent

    tests have shown that these cells are removed from the

    communications center of the brain, migrate lower in the body and

    develop into male sexual organs.

     

    If you visualize a normal brain to be similar to a full deck of

    cards, this means that males are born a few cards short, so to

    speak. And some of their cards are in their shorts. This

    difference between the male and female brain manifests itself in

    various ways.

     

    Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to

    read. Little boys, however, will tend to do things like placing a

    bucket over their heads and running into walls. Little girls

    will think about doing things before taking any action. Little

    boys will just punch or kick something and will look surprised if

    someone asks them why they just punched their little brother who

    was half asleep and looking the other way.

     

    This basic cognitive difference continues to grow until puberty,

    when the hormones kick into action and the trouble really begins.

    After puberty, not only the size of the male and female brains

    differ, but the center of thought also differs. Women think with

    their heads. Male thoughts often originate lower in their bodies

    where their ex-brain cells reside.

     

    Of course, the size of this problem varies from man to man. In

    some men only a small number of brain cells migrate and they are

    left with nearly full mental capacity but they tend to be rather

    dull, sexually speaking. Such men are known in medical terms as

    "Republicans." :(

     

    Other men suffer larger brain cell relocation. These men are

    medically referred to as "Democrats." ;)

     

    A small number of men suffer massive brain cell migration to

    their groins. These men are usually referred to as ...

     

    "Mr. President." :eek:


  2. Brain Cells?

    Author: Quman..... :cool:

    All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which,

    over nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The

    problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little

    chromosomes to make a male baby instead.

     

    Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cells

    necessary to develop a male's reproductive organs have to come

    from cells already assigned elsewhere in the female. Recent

    tests have shown that these cells are removed from the

    communications center of the brain, migrate lower in the body and

    develop into male sexual organs.

     

    If you visualize a normal brain to be similar to a full deck of

    cards, this means that males are born a few cards short, so to

    speak. And some of their cards are in their shorts. This

    difference between the male and female brain manifests itself in

    various ways.

     

    Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to

    read. Little boys, however, will tend to do things like placing a

    bucket over their heads and running into walls. Little girls

    will think about doing things before taking any action. Little

    boys will just punch or kick something and will look surprised if

    someone asks them why they just punched their little brother who

    was half asleep and looking the other way.

     

    This basic cognitive difference continues to grow until puberty,

    when the hormones kick into action and the trouble really begins.

    After puberty, not only the size of the male and female brains

    differ, but the center of thought also differs. Women think with

    their heads. Male thoughts often originate lower in their bodies

    where their ex-brain cells reside.

     

    Of course, the size of this problem varies from man to man. In

    some men only a small number of brain cells migrate and they are

    left with nearly full mental capacity but they tend to be rather

    dull, sexually speaking. Such men are known in medical terms as

    "Republicans." :(

     

    Other men suffer larger brain cell relocation. These men are

    medically referred to as "Democrats." ;)

     

    A small number of men suffer massive brain cell migration to

    their groins. These men are usually referred to as ...

     

    "Mr. President." :eek:


  3. Who Wears The Pants?

    Author:Quman. ;)

     

    A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on

    their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband

    who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his bride and said,

    "Here, put these on."

     

    She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I

    can't wear your pants," she said.

     

    "That's right," said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it.

    I'm the man and I wear the pants in this family."

     

    With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

    He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as

    his kneecaps.

     

    "Heck," he said, "I can't get into your panties!"

     

    She replied, "That's right, and that's the way its going to be

    until your attitude changes!" :D:D:D


  4. The Top 10 Reasons Why It Sucks To Be A Dick

    Author: Quman

    10. You've got a hole in your head.

     

    9. Your master strangles you all the time.

     

    8. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.

     

    7. You shrink in cold water.

     

    6. You never get a haircut.

     

    5. You always hang around with 2 nuts.

     

    4. Your closest neighbor is an asshole.

     

    3. Your best friend is a *****.

     

    2. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Muslim.

     

    And the number one reason why it sucks to be a dick:

     

    1. Everytime you get excited, you THROW UP.

     

    redface.gifredface.gifredface.gifredface.gifredface.gif


  5. A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."

     

    The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby,Doctor? What's wrong???"

     

    The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bitdifferent. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

     

    The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite... what's that???"

     

    "Well, it means your baby has the...er...features... of a male

    and a female."

     

    The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis... AND a brain!!!!!!!!!! ;)smile.gif :rolleyes: :confused:


  6. Five Reasons Computers Must Be Female

    Author: Women....

     

    I. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

     

    II. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

     

    III. The native language used to communicate with other computers,is incomprehensible to everyone else.

     

    IV. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

     

    V. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself,spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. :rolleyes: ;)


  7. Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

    Author: A WOMEN......

    Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

     

    10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

     

    9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.

     

    8. Crying can be fun.

     

    7. FAT CLOTHES.

     

    6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced

    lunch.

     

    5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be

    considered a peak life experience.

     

    4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

     

    3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is

    next to impossible.

     

    2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten

    minutes.

     

    AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:

     

    1. OTHER WOMEN :cool: ;)


  8. The Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students

    Author: graduate student

     

    1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.

    2. My job prospects look really good.

    3. The department is giving me so much support.

    4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start

    writing.

    5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.

    6. Your latest article was so inspiring.

    7. I would never date an undergraduate.

    8. My work has a lot of practical importance.

    9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.

    10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is

    making $80,000 a year on Wall Street. smile.gif


  9. The Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students

    Author: graduate student

     

    1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.

    2. My job prospects look really good.

    3. The department is giving me so much support.

    4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start

    writing.

    5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.

    6. Your latest article was so inspiring.

    7. I would never date an undergraduate.

    8. My work has a lot of practical importance.

    9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.

    10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is

    making $80,000 a year on Wall Street. smile.gif


  10. hi every one,,,,this's my very 1st time-----

    well,hello there my fellow somali students,,,,,

    damn!!!!!im so proud off u all,,,,,,,4 real,,,

    im studying biochemistry &microbiology,here in London/UK....inshallah,,i'd love 2 take as major:

    Genetics,although i love immunology too,,,

    well,,,,that's all my dears,,,,,i must leave u now,,,,,,,,a/alaikum-warahma,,,,,, :cool: